One of the things I needed to do during the three weeks I spent in Michigan over the holidays was to sort through some things at my grandmother's house. When she passed away in the spring her house was just as she had left it. My mom, aunt and uncle have been working hard to sort and box up everything to get the house ready for sale. It is a difficult job, both physically and emotionally.
Some of the items have gone to predetermined people. Grandma had "given" pieces of furniture, dolls, and dishes to us before she passed. Those were the easy things to distribute. Now it comes down to who wants what and how it will be displayed or stored. My parents have rearranged things are their house some to accommodate some larger pieces including a leather chair that belonged to my grandfather and he promised to me before his death in 1988.
When we went over to the house I was overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of stuff that can accumulate during a lifetime. Everything I looked at brought back some memory of my grandparents. It was so hard to choose one or two things that would assimilate into my life. I asked my mom what would happen to it when the family too had chosen their treasures. She looked at me sadly and I knew. It would be sold or donated to charity. I cannot describe the sadness I felt and feel about the life someone built being tossed away. It made me angry and I wanted to leave it all the way it was, untouched.
Later that night after thinking about it some I had an epiphany of sorts. The stuff doesn't matter. The important parts of my grandmother are still being used by the people who inherited them.
My mother, the oldest of three siblings, has my grandmothers amazing ability to feed people. Having 100 people for dinner doesn't faze my mother nor did it my grandmother. Food was such an important part of my childhood as we gathered around the table for every occasion to celebrate each other.
My uncle Tom, the middle child, has a love of tinkering. He loved racing his car and being around old cars, restoring and driving. My grandmother loved this too. When she died she still had 3 antique cars in her barn.
My aunt Marie, the baby of the family, got my grandmothers love of sewing. She is so talented at weaving fabric together to make beautiful quilts and a variety of other projects.
The oldest grandchild, my sister, got my grandmother's love of writing. My grandmother wrote in a journal everyday about the happenings of the day. My sister continues the tradition and is working toward being a professional writer, my grandmother was so proud of her.
Next in line by age is me. My grandmother and I shared a love of children and making sure the next generation was better than the present one. She served on a committee that restored a one-room school house and was a space for children to go on field trips to see how the children of the past learned.
My cousin Nicole is the next oldest. She and my grandmother shared a love of nature. My grandmother loved flowers and plants and always had large prosperous flower beds. She would spend hours tending to them. Nicole has this same passion and loves to plant and tend her flower beds as well. She works in a nursery where she shares her knowledge and love of nature with her customers.
John is the youngest cousin and he too has inherited wonderful things from my grandmother. He is analytical and detailed. He has a passion for things of the past and is a hard worker. My grandmother was all of these things. She loved to know how things work and ask questions. I see those same traits in John. They also share an affinity for beer :-).
While struggling with the physical belongings from the house I now see that it is what we take away from the person in our hearts not our hands. I did take some crystal that I carefully carried on the plane and a globe from an amazing trip my grandmother took to Australia. They are little things that will be physical reminders of her love and who she was, not what she had.
As we drove away from 610 Bates Street for the last time I was overcome with emotion knowing that someone else will soon occupy the house to begin making their own memories.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Owl Pellets
My time of substitute teaching has brought me to a seventh grade science class. I had a science minor in college so some of the concepts are familiar to me. I was excited to learn that I would be dissecting owl pellets with the classes because this was something I had done in college.
For those of you not familiar with middle school science, an owl pellet is a hard egg-shaped pellet that consists of hair and bones. Owls swallow their food (mice, rats, voles, birds) whole and they cannot digest the hair and bones. The pellets are regurgitated and left to decompose. Unless you are a middle school science teacher and then you have your students take them apart, separate the bones and put the tiny skeletons back together to see what the owl ate for dinner.
This is a cool activity because the students do it all themselves and have to identify the bones. The bones are tiny and most of the time the skulls are intact which adds to the grossness factor for the more squeamish. Below are pictures from our project starting with the pellet, the bones and the final projects.
For those of you not familiar with middle school science, an owl pellet is a hard egg-shaped pellet that consists of hair and bones. Owls swallow their food (mice, rats, voles, birds) whole and they cannot digest the hair and bones. The pellets are regurgitated and left to decompose. Unless you are a middle school science teacher and then you have your students take them apart, separate the bones and put the tiny skeletons back together to see what the owl ate for dinner.
This is a cool activity because the students do it all themselves and have to identify the bones. The bones are tiny and most of the time the skulls are intact which adds to the grossness factor for the more squeamish. Below are pictures from our project starting with the pellet, the bones and the final projects.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Cedric goes to School
Sunday, September 11, 2011
September 11, 2011
Ten years seems like a long time but when I look at ten years ago today it wasn't that long ago. It seems like just yesterday I got up and grumpily went to my 8 a.m. chemistry class. When I left class at nine I headed to work at the Wesley Foundation like usual. The secretary was sitting there looking confused and asked what was happening. The radio was saying a plane had hit the Pentagon. I quickly called Sarah and told her to turn on the television and find out what was happening. When I was on the phone with her she said a plane just hit in New York too. I quickly gathered my stuff and went home.
I don't remember much else except that I had to go get my roommate at her job at Office Max because her dad was being evacuated from a building in Chicago. I remember people coming to our apartment and quietly watching television all day. I remember calling my dad and saying "Daddy I'm scared. They closed school and I don't understand what's happening" I remember him telling me he loved me. He didn't have any answers to give me, but no one did that day.
I have put off thinking about today all week. I haven't watched any of the specials or talked about it. This morning Reverend Kathy asked us to take 6o seconds and talk to the person next to us about that day. I told Sarah I didn't want to think about it let alone talk about it so she told me a joke. I needed that because I needed to not break down there.
What I haven't wanted to admit to myself is that the wounds of that day are still fresh. Ten years later I can't talk about it or watch anything about the events of that day without getting emotional. I haven't' wanted to admit it because it feels strange to remember that day in such detail with so much pain.
Our world changed that day. The students who came to my class this week have no idea what life was like before that day. They have grown up in terror. I hate that idea, that children don't know what life was like before terrorism became part of our everyday vocabulary.
Today I was thinking about the anniversary and this popped into my head:
America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms.
Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.
It is part of the speech from "The American President" and I think it illustrates that America is strong and we will rise to any occasion. It gives me hope.
As you reflect on this day listen to this song by Alan Jackson, it is a good reminder of the events that followed the fateful day 10 years ago.
Where Were You (When the World Stopped Spinning)
Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Risin' against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?
Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters?
[Chorus:]
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell
you the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her?
Did you dust off that Bible at home?
Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Or go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
Did you stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?
[Repeat Chorus 2x]
And the greatest is love.
And the greatest is love.
Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?
I don't remember much else except that I had to go get my roommate at her job at Office Max because her dad was being evacuated from a building in Chicago. I remember people coming to our apartment and quietly watching television all day. I remember calling my dad and saying "Daddy I'm scared. They closed school and I don't understand what's happening" I remember him telling me he loved me. He didn't have any answers to give me, but no one did that day.
I have put off thinking about today all week. I haven't watched any of the specials or talked about it. This morning Reverend Kathy asked us to take 6o seconds and talk to the person next to us about that day. I told Sarah I didn't want to think about it let alone talk about it so she told me a joke. I needed that because I needed to not break down there.
What I haven't wanted to admit to myself is that the wounds of that day are still fresh. Ten years later I can't talk about it or watch anything about the events of that day without getting emotional. I haven't' wanted to admit it because it feels strange to remember that day in such detail with so much pain.
Our world changed that day. The students who came to my class this week have no idea what life was like before that day. They have grown up in terror. I hate that idea, that children don't know what life was like before terrorism became part of our everyday vocabulary.
Today I was thinking about the anniversary and this popped into my head:
America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms.
Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.
It is part of the speech from "The American President" and I think it illustrates that America is strong and we will rise to any occasion. It gives me hope.
As you reflect on this day listen to this song by Alan Jackson, it is a good reminder of the events that followed the fateful day 10 years ago.
Where Were You (When the World Stopped Spinning)
Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you in the yard with your wife and children
Or working on some stage in L.A.?
Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smoke
Risin' against that blue sky?
Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry?
Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know?
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below?
Did you burst out in pride for the red, white and blue
And the heroes who died just doin' what they do?
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself and what really matters?
[Chorus:]
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell
you the difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us
And the greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turning on that September day?
Were you teaching a class full of innocent children
Or driving down some cold interstate?
Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone?
Did you call up your mother and tell her you loved her?
Did you dust off that Bible at home?
Did you open your eyes, hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep?
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Or speak to some stranger on the street?
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Or go out and buy you a gun?
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns?
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers
Did you stand in line and give your own blood?
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love?
[Repeat Chorus 2x]
And the greatest is love.
And the greatest is love.
Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day?
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Lenten devotional
Maundy Thursday, April 21
John 13:1-17, 33-35
“A new command I give you: Love one another”
As a teacher I understand how challenging it is to see your student not
understand something time and time again. Jesus faced this same
challenge throughout his time on Earth. He was sent here to show
God’s love and was instead misunderstood, mistreated, and ultimately
betrayed by one of his closest friends. The disciples knew there was
something special about their teacher but they couldn’t quite put their
fingers on it. They couldn’t see the big picture Jesus was trying to paint
for them and for those who would come after them.
It wasn’t until Jesus was preparing to make the final sacrifice that he
was able to get through to some of the disciples. His final lesson was
perhaps his most important: “A new command I give you; Love one
another”.
As students of Jesus we, as Christians, do many things to reach an
understanding of what he intended for us. We read scripture, attend
church services, join Bible studies and volunteer to help those less
fortunate. However, if we do not follow this new commandment all of
that is for naught. As Christians we must love first and let everything
else follow. Without love, God would never have sent Jesus to be our
teacher and we would not have chance after chance to learn the
lessons He meant for us.
As we observe Maundy Thursday and prepare for Good Friday
remember that Christ came in love, taught in love and died in love. For
me, and for you.
- Angela Knapp
John 13:1-17, 33-35
“A new command I give you: Love one another”
As a teacher I understand how challenging it is to see your student not
understand something time and time again. Jesus faced this same
challenge throughout his time on Earth. He was sent here to show
God’s love and was instead misunderstood, mistreated, and ultimately
betrayed by one of his closest friends. The disciples knew there was
something special about their teacher but they couldn’t quite put their
fingers on it. They couldn’t see the big picture Jesus was trying to paint
for them and for those who would come after them.
It wasn’t until Jesus was preparing to make the final sacrifice that he
was able to get through to some of the disciples. His final lesson was
perhaps his most important: “A new command I give you; Love one
another”.
As students of Jesus we, as Christians, do many things to reach an
understanding of what he intended for us. We read scripture, attend
church services, join Bible studies and volunteer to help those less
fortunate. However, if we do not follow this new commandment all of
that is for naught. As Christians we must love first and let everything
else follow. Without love, God would never have sent Jesus to be our
teacher and we would not have chance after chance to learn the
lessons He meant for us.
As we observe Maundy Thursday and prepare for Good Friday
remember that Christ came in love, taught in love and died in love. For
me, and for you.
- Angela Knapp
Monday, September 27, 2010
Not an Option
In the fall of 2003 I was in the midst of my student teaching assignment. I remember a talk I had with my mentor wherein I told her I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a teacher. This after 4 and a 1/2 years of school in order to do just that. I was tired and running on empty, I felt as though I were being called to something else. One day after a social studies lesson to the first graders I was teaching my mentor wrote in my journal something I will never forget. She wrote, "You can't not teach, this is your calling. Whatever road you choose, you will educate".
7 years later as I am struggling to find a permanent job, have worked in some crazy places, faced budget deficits, training after training and encountered kids from every walk of life I know this is true.
For a while this summer I was under the impression I was at a crossroads. That my tenure in education was over and I was on to find something bigger, better to do with my life. I was wrong, the only crossroads I am facing is where will I teach next. I am a teacher. I see clearly that my mentor was correct, I cannot not teach, it's who I am.
7 years later as I am struggling to find a permanent job, have worked in some crazy places, faced budget deficits, training after training and encountered kids from every walk of life I know this is true.
For a while this summer I was under the impression I was at a crossroads. That my tenure in education was over and I was on to find something bigger, better to do with my life. I was wrong, the only crossroads I am facing is where will I teach next. I am a teacher. I see clearly that my mentor was correct, I cannot not teach, it's who I am.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Top Ten Best Things About Michigan in the Summer
Thanks to summer vacation and my parents I was able to spend three fun filled weeks in my hometown. Here's a list of the best things about it!
10. Air Conditioning. When the humidity hits in Michigan you can bet you are gonna want air. Thankfully my parents had it installed years ago and it was so nice to sleep cooly!
9. Water. Michigan has lots of water and we took advantage. From the Niblocks swimming pool to the fresh water lake complete with seaweed to the clear clean water of the Rolling Hills wave pool and lazy river.
8. Cheap movie tickets. Only after living in LA can I appreciate the $4.50 matinee at Brighton's MJR Cinema. Over the 3 weeks I saw "Despicable Me", "A-Team", "Toy Story 3", "Knight and Day", "Eclipse", and "Iron Man 2".
7. Books! I love love love to read. I can't read much during the year because once I start a book I can't put it down. Through the last 21 days I read NINE books and they were all great!
6. Catching up. When I get home I try to catch up with people and see what's been happening. This time I was able to visit with friends from college, old family friends and of course the grandparents! Grandma Mac is settled into the nursing home and being well taken care of and grandma and grandpa Cows are selling the homestead and headed for a condo while Grandma Millie is continuing to enjoy her friends in Lansing.
5. Games. I was able to take in part of a Lugnuts game after a nasty thunderstorm receded a bit and have a great meal courtesy of Chem Trend and their anniversary celebration. Euchre was the name of the game at our place this year as my mom defended her trophy nightly. Dad didn't have too much luck but I am sure he'll be ready next time.
4. Sleeping. Let's get one thing straight, sleeping is in no way over rated. I slept in, went to bed early, and took naps. Basically slept as much as possible.
3. Food. No vacation is complete without good food and we were not in short supply. Bar-B-Ques a plenty were had, s'mores, ice cream birthday cake for Ms. Emma's 5th, potato salad, and Johnny Carino's, but nothing tops mom's baked beans!!!!
2. Sights. I lived in Michigan for 25 years and am surprised to continually find new things and enjoy the old. We took a fantastic tour of the Frederick Meijer Gardens, played some spectacular golf (if I do say so myself) and hit King Cone TWICE!!!!
1. Family. Plain and simple. I love my family. I have said it before and I will say it again, my parents are the most loving, supportive and giving people around. They even paid a bucket load so I could stay an extra week for more fun!
10. Air Conditioning. When the humidity hits in Michigan you can bet you are gonna want air. Thankfully my parents had it installed years ago and it was so nice to sleep cooly!
9. Water. Michigan has lots of water and we took advantage. From the Niblocks swimming pool to the fresh water lake complete with seaweed to the clear clean water of the Rolling Hills wave pool and lazy river.
8. Cheap movie tickets. Only after living in LA can I appreciate the $4.50 matinee at Brighton's MJR Cinema. Over the 3 weeks I saw "Despicable Me", "A-Team", "Toy Story 3", "Knight and Day", "Eclipse", and "Iron Man 2".
7. Books! I love love love to read. I can't read much during the year because once I start a book I can't put it down. Through the last 21 days I read NINE books and they were all great!
6. Catching up. When I get home I try to catch up with people and see what's been happening. This time I was able to visit with friends from college, old family friends and of course the grandparents! Grandma Mac is settled into the nursing home and being well taken care of and grandma and grandpa Cows are selling the homestead and headed for a condo while Grandma Millie is continuing to enjoy her friends in Lansing.
5. Games. I was able to take in part of a Lugnuts game after a nasty thunderstorm receded a bit and have a great meal courtesy of Chem Trend and their anniversary celebration. Euchre was the name of the game at our place this year as my mom defended her trophy nightly. Dad didn't have too much luck but I am sure he'll be ready next time.
4. Sleeping. Let's get one thing straight, sleeping is in no way over rated. I slept in, went to bed early, and took naps. Basically slept as much as possible.
3. Food. No vacation is complete without good food and we were not in short supply. Bar-B-Ques a plenty were had, s'mores, ice cream birthday cake for Ms. Emma's 5th, potato salad, and Johnny Carino's, but nothing tops mom's baked beans!!!!
2. Sights. I lived in Michigan for 25 years and am surprised to continually find new things and enjoy the old. We took a fantastic tour of the Frederick Meijer Gardens, played some spectacular golf (if I do say so myself) and hit King Cone TWICE!!!!
1. Family. Plain and simple. I love my family. I have said it before and I will say it again, my parents are the most loving, supportive and giving people around. They even paid a bucket load so I could stay an extra week for more fun!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Memorial Day
Growing up Memorial Day was an important day in our family. We would get up early, go to the parade and listen to the speeches thanking falling soldiers and watching the wreaths float out into the water. Then the guns. I was always so scared of the gunfire. The noise.
My father served in the Air Force, his father in the Army. My mother's father in the Navy. When I was young my best friend's father was deployed during the first Gulf War. When I moved to Yuma I met many families who watched their loved ones go to the current Gulf War. But never have I experienced the true meaning of this holiday as I did this weekend.
Saturday Sarah and I drove to Camp Pendleton to spend some time with our friend Julie. I first met Julie in Yuma where her husband Wayne served in the Marine Corp. Currently Julie and Wayne have 2 children ages 5 and 3. Two beautiful, brilliant children. Saturday night we went the base family fun center bowled and ate pizza. We chatted a while and then went to bed. Sunday dawned early as the kids were up and raring to go! I jumped on the trampoline with the kids, watched cartoons and ate breakfast burritos. We chatted with the neighbor and had a great time.
I did not see Wayne this trip because he is in Afghanistan. He is serving his country while his family lives a seemingly normal life here in southern California. Of the 20 occupied houses on Julie's street 18 of them have husbands and fathers who are deployed. That is one street in one neighborhood on one military base.
This Memorial Day was special, I was able to see into the world that few get to see. I experienced the vacancy in a family. Julie and the kids are doing well, they are happy, busy and enjoying summer. But there is a vacancy in their house. One that will be happily filled this fall when Wayne returns to the United States.
My father served in the Air Force, his father in the Army. My mother's father in the Navy. When I was young my best friend's father was deployed during the first Gulf War. When I moved to Yuma I met many families who watched their loved ones go to the current Gulf War. But never have I experienced the true meaning of this holiday as I did this weekend.
Saturday Sarah and I drove to Camp Pendleton to spend some time with our friend Julie. I first met Julie in Yuma where her husband Wayne served in the Marine Corp. Currently Julie and Wayne have 2 children ages 5 and 3. Two beautiful, brilliant children. Saturday night we went the base family fun center bowled and ate pizza. We chatted a while and then went to bed. Sunday dawned early as the kids were up and raring to go! I jumped on the trampoline with the kids, watched cartoons and ate breakfast burritos. We chatted with the neighbor and had a great time.
I did not see Wayne this trip because he is in Afghanistan. He is serving his country while his family lives a seemingly normal life here in southern California. Of the 20 occupied houses on Julie's street 18 of them have husbands and fathers who are deployed. That is one street in one neighborhood on one military base.
This Memorial Day was special, I was able to see into the world that few get to see. I experienced the vacancy in a family. Julie and the kids are doing well, they are happy, busy and enjoying summer. But there is a vacancy in their house. One that will be happily filled this fall when Wayne returns to the United States.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Play Time!
Tomorrow I am again taking kids on a Saturday field trip. It is the third one. We have gone to the beach for team building, visited UCLA for a tour and now are going to Mulligans Family Fun Center. This one is strictly for fun, no learning, unless I learn how to drive a go kart!
The best thing about these field trips has been to see the kids out of the school realm. Seeing them learn without books, play and be kids. Tomorrow should prove yet another fun time as we embark on a day of laser tag, go karts, batting cages and junk food!
The best thing about these field trips has been to see the kids out of the school realm. Seeing them learn without books, play and be kids. Tomorrow should prove yet another fun time as we embark on a day of laser tag, go karts, batting cages and junk food!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Out of the Fog
I have been gone a while. I wasn't out of town or doing anything exciting. I was in a fog. The problem with depression is that it is incredibly hard to see when you are in its midst. I was first diagnosed and medicated for depression in 2000. My medication had changed a couple times and I had talk therapy but for the most part things were better. Then, in March, I realized something. I had sunk back into that part of my life that is depression. Sarah went out of town for a week and I was on my own. I suddenly noticed that without someone else there I was sleeping all the time, not eating, not myself. Although it is difficult to admit there is a problem I called a guy and we talked for a few weeks, he changed my medication and voila! Just like that I am doing better, I am out of the fog. I feel more like myself, have more energy and am looking forward to things again.
So that's where I have been. I am back now and for anyone still reading this after all this time I am blogging again.
So that's where I have been. I am back now and for anyone still reading this after all this time I am blogging again.
New Journey
I am embarking on a new journey as I round the corner to 30. This is a "if you don't do what the doctor says you might be be in real trouble" journey. As some of you may remember on May 17, 1997 I had knee surgery. At that time the doctors told me I would eventually need surgery again but at 17 I wasn't really thinking that far ahead and I didn't think it would be this soon.
After about three months of pain this winter I went to the doctor and after about ten seconds he said, it's worn out. Now, I am not paraphrasing. That is what he said. It's worn out. My knee cap that is, the knee itself is OK. So I have two options for surgery. They are both open and not arthroscopic which means a long recovery and lots of rehab.
I started physical therapy on Monday and came home looking like this (see picture above). Til this point the pain has been annoying and uncomfortable but when this tape was put on it became intolerable. It is supposed to hold the knee in the right place but so far it just hurts.
I was also told to take off the weight. I know this but it hasn't really sunk in yet. A few years ago I lost almost 50 lbs and have put most of it back on. The doctor said it would take pressure off the knee. He wants me on a treadmill or in a pool. Not an elliptical. Apparently I am too tall for it so I have to decide if I want to join a gym. This is yet another part of the journey I am not prepared for.
So begins my journey. I will find out more about the surgery in a couple weeks and decide if I will go through with it, right now it's a little scary to commit to. So I am committing to buying new tennis shoes at the request of the physical therapist and researching gyms.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Choices
There are two kinds of choices; big ones and little ones. I am horrible at making the little ones. I can never decide where to have dinner, when to take my car to the garage, when to go to the movies or what movie. These are the things I struggle with. The everyday choices that are not life or death, not life changing. But I have this innate fear that I will make the wrong choice and someone will be unhappy or there is some better possibility out there. This I am working on, slowly.
The big choices, the life changing ones, these are the ones I tend to make easily. I never thought much about where to go to college. I visited Western once, applied and didn't look back. I once decided in less than 24 four hours to drop summer classes and work in Appalachia for three months. I also made the decision in less than 3 hours to move 3000 miles away from everyone and everything I knew for a job. When Sarah wanted to move to LA I said sure, let's go! I bought the first car I looked at (after getting in the trunk of course). I decided to become nationally certified in 1 afternoon.
Now I am faced with a big choice once again. And I can't get a read on it. It has never been like this before. I always know deep down inside what I am supposed to do. Work hasn't been easy this past year and I am again faced with unemployment and the uncertainty of being a substitute with no contract.
Then there's this opportunity. This job opening that appeared quickly and people all around me said go for it. You don't owe the school district anything, do what's best for you. But I am hesitant. Not because the job is an office job more or less. But because it is not sitting right inside. Maybe that's part of growing up. The crazy, life altering choices aren't as easy because there is more at stake. More people to think about, bills and insurance premiums. Expectations.
Yesterday a friend ask me what my five year plan is. I replied that I don't know what my 5 day plan is. It's true, for someone who likes to be organized and is anxious about every single thing, I don't have a plan. I don't know what the future looks like. I have always just gone with what opportunities present themselves and hoped for the best.
I like how things have gone so far. I have seen and experienced things that I never thought I would growing up. But as the choices get bigger and the safety net smaller I am at a crosswords that will change my path.
And then as I write this I think - hey, don't worry. You'll be sure when you need to be. And maybe I will be. One thing I know for sure, without a doubt is that God knows my 5 year plan and beyond so it's ok that I don't right now!
The big choices, the life changing ones, these are the ones I tend to make easily. I never thought much about where to go to college. I visited Western once, applied and didn't look back. I once decided in less than 24 four hours to drop summer classes and work in Appalachia for three months. I also made the decision in less than 3 hours to move 3000 miles away from everyone and everything I knew for a job. When Sarah wanted to move to LA I said sure, let's go! I bought the first car I looked at (after getting in the trunk of course). I decided to become nationally certified in 1 afternoon.
Now I am faced with a big choice once again. And I can't get a read on it. It has never been like this before. I always know deep down inside what I am supposed to do. Work hasn't been easy this past year and I am again faced with unemployment and the uncertainty of being a substitute with no contract.
Then there's this opportunity. This job opening that appeared quickly and people all around me said go for it. You don't owe the school district anything, do what's best for you. But I am hesitant. Not because the job is an office job more or less. But because it is not sitting right inside. Maybe that's part of growing up. The crazy, life altering choices aren't as easy because there is more at stake. More people to think about, bills and insurance premiums. Expectations.
Yesterday a friend ask me what my five year plan is. I replied that I don't know what my 5 day plan is. It's true, for someone who likes to be organized and is anxious about every single thing, I don't have a plan. I don't know what the future looks like. I have always just gone with what opportunities present themselves and hoped for the best.
I like how things have gone so far. I have seen and experienced things that I never thought I would growing up. But as the choices get bigger and the safety net smaller I am at a crosswords that will change my path.
And then as I write this I think - hey, don't worry. You'll be sure when you need to be. And maybe I will be. One thing I know for sure, without a doubt is that God knows my 5 year plan and beyond so it's ok that I don't right now!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
My Lent Devotion
II Corinthians 5: 16-18
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; the old has passed away – the new has come.
I recently discovered where the phrase “forgive and forget” comes from. This passage tells us that God sent Jesus to make us right with him. God forgives everything that we need him to, no questions asked. God is not holding a grudge against us for the day he can hold it over our heads. It is forgotten, gone, never to be remembered again.
Unfortunately, the person we often need to forgive is the one person we can’t, ourselves. As we live our lives day in and day out we are the constant reminder of our past mistakes, holding it over our own heads, making us miserable.
God knows our lives are too precious to dwell on the past, which is why he sent Jesus. He needs us to be at our best everyday to show others what his love and forgiveness can do for them. We are so blessed to know the love that Christ showed us on the cross; we need to share it with others.
To forgive and forget is not easy, but start with yourself and discover just how free you will be to share God’s love and message with others.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Ash Wednesday
This is a picture of my forehead last night after the Ash Wednesday service at Hollywood United Methodist Church. I touched it up a bit so don't worry I am not Jaundice! My last post was Nov. 24th, a rough week for me personally. Today I have a completely different outlook.
Jesus spent 40 days in the dessert being tempted in order to save me and last night kicked off the annual time that Christians take to remember that journey and prepare for the Crucifixion. I was immediately reminded that not everyone is as blessed as I am to celebrate this day, not Fat Tuesday, but the day that represents temptation, denial, and a journey. I stopped at Yogurtland for a snack on my way home and as I walked in the door I heard, "Hey, is it Ash Wednesday?" The question wasn't directed at me but I knew my forehead was responsible for the thought.
At the beginning of December I made a commitment to myself to do better. Not at work or with family or with anything in particular. Just better. And I have. I feel good most days and can honestly say that I have done better. I have taken time to appreciate what I have. Last night I was again reminded of the blessed life that I lead as I sat and had homemade soup and great conversation with fellow churchgoers, worshipped my heart out and ate some mighty fine frozen yogurt and then to come home, watch the US win a gold medal and fall into bed happy.
Here are some other things that are a part of my blessed life:
Sarah - it is so amazing to have a best friend and confident to come home to in this big city. She laughs with me (and at me), cries with me, listens to my stories and encourages me constantly.
My Job - I spent a long time being angry that I did not have the job I wanted but once I accepted the situation for what it was I found out I am enjoying my art classes and embarking on an adventure with reading intervention.
Middle school students - They amaze me. I constantly learn from them and laugh with them and have great conversations on the state of the world, grocery shopping, parents and love. I love that I hear "Hi Ms. Knapp" at least 100 times a day and I never get tired of saying hi back.
Trace - An acupuncturist who I begrudgingly went to see with little hope about a year ago has turned into a confidant, a healer and friend. Because if her I can manage my migraines better than I have on any medication in the past.
The Twilight Series - yeah. I said it. I got the series for Christmas and read it all in two weeks. It renewed my interest in reading, I try to read a little every night before I go to sleep now.
My parents - For teaching me everyday to live the "what would Jesus do?" credo. I am amazed by their selfless acts and strive to live a life of service for others as they have.
There is so much more than will fit in this blog, I am overwhelmingly blessed today and everyday and I am excited to take a Lenten journey to find out how I can do better because I know I can.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
A Journey
Thirteen months ago, October 4, 2008 to be exact, I started a journey to be a Nationally Board Certified Teacher. I was excited and nervous for the endeavor as I had been told stories of how hard and arduous the process can be but I was determined. Some of that came from being in a new system where many of the teachers and staff were better educated than I was with masters degrees and doctorates. Some of it came from wanting to be busy as Sarah was going to night school and I was going to be alone in the house a lot. But most of all, I wanted it. For me. I wanted to not worry that if I moved again I had to get a new certificate and take tests and I wanted to be able to stay in the middle school setting.
So I logged 47 hours of meetings and trainings and work sessions. I spent every Saturday for 6 months writing, reviewing, and critiquing my own teaching. What do I do as a teacher? How do my students respond and am I able to give them what they need? What is a professional teacher? Have I become one and how do I prove it? These are just a couple of the questions that I spent hours discussing in my head and with those going through the process too. I spent much of my own time working, writing, thinking, researching. And of course I dragged Sarah into it as my editor, contributor and crutch.
Sarah videotaped my class a bunch of times until I got exactly what I needed to submit 2 - 15 minute DVD's of my teaching to determine my fate. I met a great friend who came over many nights to work together so we could be the strongest candidates possible. I took practice assessments in sessions that lasted 2-4 hours and learned terminology and pedagogy til I couldn't think straight.
I mailed the portfolio and took the 4 hour assessment and just like that it was over. Rather, I had to pretend it was over because that was June and the results don't come out until November. As the day approached to find out my fate I was a wreck, I picked a huge fight with Sarah over something stupid, I couldn't sleep, the usual stress induced stuff. Then last Friday the scores were released.
I didn't pass.
I called Sarah from school, tearful, and told her. I posted on facebook and twitter. I needed it to be out there, to be real. I immediately texted my friend to find out her fate. She passed! (and I am so happy and proud of her). Then came the tears. I couldn't stop. I tried and tried and tried to suck it up. I went to the hallway and gave myself a pep talk but it was too much. I called for coverage and headed home defeated. Sarah sat with me for an hour while I cried. There was nothing to say, nothing to make it better. I talked to mom and dad and they were so great. Mom got angry that someone would dare say I wasn't good enough and dad said "this test doesn't define you".
I couldn't hear any of it. I was disappointed. Disappointed in myself, feeling as if I had let everyone down. Sarah had worked hard on this project too, helping me be the best I could be, my parents were supportive through the whole process and had helped pay for it. I couldn't bear that they be disappointed in me. Then Sarah made pancakes and made me laugh. I went to see my acupuncturist who calmed my body down and let me sleep for a while. I left the appointment feeling much better. I came home, picked Sarah up and we went off to the movies. It was good not to think of it.
Sunday morning in church I got teary, and then cried again when my pastor mentioned it. I am not ready to talk about it yet face to face with anyone. It hurts.
BUT - I know that my dad was right. This test does not define me or my teaching. My portfolio scores were fantastic which means the people scoring my actual teaching thought I was fabulous and that I have gone above and beyond in the community, my profession and with the families of my students. That is something I am proud of. I believe that teaching is personal, that in order to really teach one has to know their students and that I do that is evident.
The downfall was the written assessment. A 4 hour test taken on a computer where you are given 6 prompts to answer. When I left the assessment center I couldn't tell anyone what the prompts were because I didn't remember. I still don't. I couldn't tell you what I wrote because those memories are not there. Evidently I had test anxiety and froze up.
I can take the test again in the spring and I might. I haven't decided, I still have some time. I can wait up to 2 years to retake it. This has been a difficult year, getting laid off, being a substitute and creating an art curriculum.
I don't know what the future holds. What I do know is that I am a good teacher. In fact, I am a great teacher. I have been in the trenches, experienced a lot in different parts of the country and learned more than I ever thought I could. The test doesn't define me, I define myself.
So I logged 47 hours of meetings and trainings and work sessions. I spent every Saturday for 6 months writing, reviewing, and critiquing my own teaching. What do I do as a teacher? How do my students respond and am I able to give them what they need? What is a professional teacher? Have I become one and how do I prove it? These are just a couple of the questions that I spent hours discussing in my head and with those going through the process too. I spent much of my own time working, writing, thinking, researching. And of course I dragged Sarah into it as my editor, contributor and crutch.
Sarah videotaped my class a bunch of times until I got exactly what I needed to submit 2 - 15 minute DVD's of my teaching to determine my fate. I met a great friend who came over many nights to work together so we could be the strongest candidates possible. I took practice assessments in sessions that lasted 2-4 hours and learned terminology and pedagogy til I couldn't think straight.
I mailed the portfolio and took the 4 hour assessment and just like that it was over. Rather, I had to pretend it was over because that was June and the results don't come out until November. As the day approached to find out my fate I was a wreck, I picked a huge fight with Sarah over something stupid, I couldn't sleep, the usual stress induced stuff. Then last Friday the scores were released.
I didn't pass.
I called Sarah from school, tearful, and told her. I posted on facebook and twitter. I needed it to be out there, to be real. I immediately texted my friend to find out her fate. She passed! (and I am so happy and proud of her). Then came the tears. I couldn't stop. I tried and tried and tried to suck it up. I went to the hallway and gave myself a pep talk but it was too much. I called for coverage and headed home defeated. Sarah sat with me for an hour while I cried. There was nothing to say, nothing to make it better. I talked to mom and dad and they were so great. Mom got angry that someone would dare say I wasn't good enough and dad said "this test doesn't define you".
I couldn't hear any of it. I was disappointed. Disappointed in myself, feeling as if I had let everyone down. Sarah had worked hard on this project too, helping me be the best I could be, my parents were supportive through the whole process and had helped pay for it. I couldn't bear that they be disappointed in me. Then Sarah made pancakes and made me laugh. I went to see my acupuncturist who calmed my body down and let me sleep for a while. I left the appointment feeling much better. I came home, picked Sarah up and we went off to the movies. It was good not to think of it.
Sunday morning in church I got teary, and then cried again when my pastor mentioned it. I am not ready to talk about it yet face to face with anyone. It hurts.
BUT - I know that my dad was right. This test does not define me or my teaching. My portfolio scores were fantastic which means the people scoring my actual teaching thought I was fabulous and that I have gone above and beyond in the community, my profession and with the families of my students. That is something I am proud of. I believe that teaching is personal, that in order to really teach one has to know their students and that I do that is evident.
The downfall was the written assessment. A 4 hour test taken on a computer where you are given 6 prompts to answer. When I left the assessment center I couldn't tell anyone what the prompts were because I didn't remember. I still don't. I couldn't tell you what I wrote because those memories are not there. Evidently I had test anxiety and froze up.
I can take the test again in the spring and I might. I haven't decided, I still have some time. I can wait up to 2 years to retake it. This has been a difficult year, getting laid off, being a substitute and creating an art curriculum.
I don't know what the future holds. What I do know is that I am a good teacher. In fact, I am a great teacher. I have been in the trenches, experienced a lot in different parts of the country and learned more than I ever thought I could. The test doesn't define me, I define myself.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
5 Weeks
I have been quiet these past five weeks. My life has not been quiet, there have been birthdays, out of town visitors, work, girls nights, all the usual yet I have been quiet here. There is a reason, one I can't really explain except to say that I know when it is time to blog, time to share with the world and I haven't had that moment of knowing until just now.
With my current placement as an art teacher I find that I have more free time on my hands than I would like. I have the internet in my classroom so I spend more time now than ever before staying abreast of the news cycle. I am an avid LA Times and CNN reader now, I read everything they post. This week has been difficult in the news with the Fort Hood shootings and the appeal of the D.C. Sniper for his life to be spared. It wasn't, a short while ago John Allen Muhammed was given a lethal injection.
I in no way want to start a death penalty debate with anyone so please do not misunderstand me, I am very aware of the pain that this man brought to a city, a nation. I was there with everyone, watching as law enforcement was helpless to stop the killing, I was there watching as the men responsible were arrested and everyone breathed easier if only for a moment. I do not understand what motivates someone to kill innocent people. I only know that this man caused undo pain and suffering to countless people through his actions. Was it right for the justice system to sentence him to death. I don't know. I do know that I felt sadness when I read the headline declaring his death tonight. I won't apologize for that sadness. What I know is that another person is dead tonight - wrong or right someone else has died. Added to the people who were shot in TX and Florida in the past week it is another death stacked on.
As I sit here I am reminded of something that I read quite sometime ago "All men and women whom I have faced at that final moment convince me that in what I have done I have not prevented a single murder" A statement by Britain's last hangman, Albert Peirrepoint. I do not feel that the death penalty saves lives. More people are killed today than ever before despite the death penalty.
I pray for John Allen Muhammed, for his family and the families of those whom he killed. I pray for those investigating the Fort Hood shootings and all of the families that feel a little less secure in their fortress tonight. I pray for the justice system and that decisions are made in fair, non-biased ways. I pray for our nation - that we can find peace among the war that wages and I pray for myself - that I can trust in God, his timing and be made whole in his spirit.
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up." ~ Anne Lamott
So here's to not giving up today, tomorrow and the day after that. Hope. Sometimes it's all we have, knowing that makes my heart a bit lighter tonight.
With my current placement as an art teacher I find that I have more free time on my hands than I would like. I have the internet in my classroom so I spend more time now than ever before staying abreast of the news cycle. I am an avid LA Times and CNN reader now, I read everything they post. This week has been difficult in the news with the Fort Hood shootings and the appeal of the D.C. Sniper for his life to be spared. It wasn't, a short while ago John Allen Muhammed was given a lethal injection.
I in no way want to start a death penalty debate with anyone so please do not misunderstand me, I am very aware of the pain that this man brought to a city, a nation. I was there with everyone, watching as law enforcement was helpless to stop the killing, I was there watching as the men responsible were arrested and everyone breathed easier if only for a moment. I do not understand what motivates someone to kill innocent people. I only know that this man caused undo pain and suffering to countless people through his actions. Was it right for the justice system to sentence him to death. I don't know. I do know that I felt sadness when I read the headline declaring his death tonight. I won't apologize for that sadness. What I know is that another person is dead tonight - wrong or right someone else has died. Added to the people who were shot in TX and Florida in the past week it is another death stacked on.
As I sit here I am reminded of something that I read quite sometime ago "All men and women whom I have faced at that final moment convince me that in what I have done I have not prevented a single murder" A statement by Britain's last hangman, Albert Peirrepoint. I do not feel that the death penalty saves lives. More people are killed today than ever before despite the death penalty.
I pray for John Allen Muhammed, for his family and the families of those whom he killed. I pray for those investigating the Fort Hood shootings and all of the families that feel a little less secure in their fortress tonight. I pray for the justice system and that decisions are made in fair, non-biased ways. I pray for our nation - that we can find peace among the war that wages and I pray for myself - that I can trust in God, his timing and be made whole in his spirit.
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up." ~ Anne Lamott
So here's to not giving up today, tomorrow and the day after that. Hope. Sometimes it's all we have, knowing that makes my heart a bit lighter tonight.
Monday, October 05, 2009
I have been an art teacher for about a month now. It is going well. My students are enjoying the projects we have worked on, they are learning about art history, I am teaching and most importantly - paying the rent. I have spent a lot of time researching art techniques, artists and getting to know 213 students (up from 180 last year). Electives have many more students than academic classes due to less classes offered.
It is difficult without a background in teaching art but the other art teacher is a huge help and the students are pretty flexible so we are taking it one day at a time.
My students are talented and work hard here are some examples of collages we made in the likeness of Henri Matisse:
It is difficult without a background in teaching art but the other art teacher is a huge help and the students are pretty flexible so we are taking it one day at a time.
My students are talented and work hard here are some examples of collages we made in the likeness of Henri Matisse:
Saturday, September 05, 2009
And it All Started with a Big Bang!
Who doesn't like a catchy theme song to a sitcom, and even better if the show is good, right! I am a big fan of smart T.V. and the Big Bang Theory (Monday nights on CBS) is very smart and funny. It hits close to home, as one of the main characters, Sheldon, has some OCD tendencies that I share. I personally see nothing wrong with sitting in the same place all the time or eating the same thing all the time but back to my story.
Living in Hollywood has its perks, one being that many shows are filmed here so for my birthday Sarah and our friend Emily got me tickets to see the show filmed "before a live studio audience"! It was very cool. Emily has a friend who is also a huge fan of the show and she got us the tickets because she has been to tapings many times before and knows all the pages so we got treated very well, we were first in line, had front row seats and I got my DVD signed by the cast and the creator Chuck Lorre.
When you first get into the your seats on the stage they show you a previously filmed episode, we were seeing the third episode being taped so we got to see the season premiere which was so cool because it won't be on T.V. for a couple more weeks. Then they start filming, it is like a play, start to finish, scene by scene. There was this guy who was in charge of the audience and was slightly amusing, he played audience games and gave out candy and such. Then about an hour in everyone got a piece of pizza and a bottle of water.
The filming got done around 9 which I understand to be early, some go until 11 or 12 but everything had run smoothly.
So when you watch the third episode of the season listen for the audience laughter - it's me!!!!
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Response from School Board
This is the response I received today from the office of the President of the school board for the district. Frankly I am impressed to get a response and that she checked my status. I can't wait for the other 1,200 teachers to get hired so I can get my job back!
Dear Ms. Knapp,
Thank you for your email to Board President García. On the surface, it may appear that we do not care about our employees. The fact is that we do care a great deal.
I want to acknowledge that this situation must be extremely upsetting and frustrating. Working as an extended substitute certainly does not compare with being a contracted teacher. We’re not satisfied with this outcome, either--the District worked hard to recruit you, and we do not want to lose you. No one wanted the layoffs to happen. The goal has always been to maintain as many teaching positions as possible. Very difficult decisions were made in order for the District to remain solvent while still being able to meet the needs of our students.
On the positive side, you will have guaranteed employment (other RIF’d teachers whose schools were not able to bring them on as extended subs do not have this assurance) and you will qualify for health benefits effective October 1st because you worked the whole year last year. However, I checked your status, and unfortunately, there are approximately 1,200 elementary teachers with more seniority who would have to be offered reemployment before we could legally reach you on the list.
I wish I could help more.
With best wishes,
Amy
Amy Cooper
Deputy Chief of Staff
Office of Board President Mónica García
Los Angeles Unified School District
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Letter to Steve Lopez at the L.A. Times
Mr. Lopez,
I have been following your columns on the situation regarding LAUSD and while I rarely voice my opinion to persons such as yourself, I wanted to share an e-mail I sent today to UTLA President A.J.Duffy, Superintendent Ramone Cortines and the school board members. I am fed up with the way I have been treated by this school district. I am a dedicated teacher who has not only worked hard to ensure that my students learn, but that I continue learning as well. I went through the process to become nationally certified this year. When my students found out I had received a pink slip they wanted to have a bake sale to save my job. Maybe if we could have gotten Martha Stewart it would have worked!
As I wrote to Mr. Duffy and the others I don't expect anything from you, I wanted to let you know that I appreciate that you are bringing this to the public's attention. The school district is treating its' employees badly and in the long run will end up hurting the students even more. I haven't decided if I am going to go back as a substitute yet, I find it hard accept that as my role. I worked hard to become a professional and wish only to be treated as one.
Thank you for your words, they are telling the whole story,
Angela Knapp
Dear Mr. Duffy
You don't know me, my name is Angela Knapp and I am one of the many who received a reduction in force letter this past spring. I am writing to you because I have no idea who else to contact. I have only been teaching in LAUSD for one year however, I have been teaching for four years. I am an accomplished, well trained professional and when I was informed of the lay-offs I was also made promises by my administration.
I understand there is only so much a school site can do and as such I will not be hired back. To that end, I am insulted by the superintendent's memo that all but some 300 rif'd employees were rehired by the district. I have been told that I can return to my school site as a long term sub. I am to understand that means no sick time, no paid holidays, a major pay cut and the loss of several other "perks" as they were.
I worked for three years on the Mexican border teaching seventh graders how to read and I spent last year putting that same energy into furthering the knowledge of the seventh grade Magnet students at John Burroughs Middle School. And now I am expected to carry on doing the same duties for a fraction of the pay? That is an insult to me and to the entire profession of teaching.
I don't know what I expect from you. Frankly, I've come to expect very little from my union and my former employer. But I thought you should hear the story of someone who cares and apparently, is not cared about.
Sincerely,
Angela Knapp
Former-LAUSD employee
I have been following your columns on the situation regarding LAUSD and while I rarely voice my opinion to persons such as yourself, I wanted to share an e-mail I sent today to UTLA President A.J.Duffy, Superintendent Ramone Cortines and the school board members. I am fed up with the way I have been treated by this school district. I am a dedicated teacher who has not only worked hard to ensure that my students learn, but that I continue learning as well. I went through the process to become nationally certified this year. When my students found out I had received a pink slip they wanted to have a bake sale to save my job. Maybe if we could have gotten Martha Stewart it would have worked!
As I wrote to Mr. Duffy and the others I don't expect anything from you, I wanted to let you know that I appreciate that you are bringing this to the public's attention. The school district is treating its' employees badly and in the long run will end up hurting the students even more. I haven't decided if I am going to go back as a substitute yet, I find it hard accept that as my role. I worked hard to become a professional and wish only to be treated as one.
Thank you for your words, they are telling the whole story,
Angela Knapp
Dear Mr. Duffy
You don't know me, my name is Angela Knapp and I am one of the many who received a reduction in force letter this past spring. I am writing to you because I have no idea who else to contact. I have only been teaching in LAUSD for one year however, I have been teaching for four years. I am an accomplished, well trained professional and when I was informed of the lay-offs I was also made promises by my administration.
I understand there is only so much a school site can do and as such I will not be hired back. To that end, I am insulted by the superintendent's memo that all but some 300 rif'd employees were rehired by the district. I have been told that I can return to my school site as a long term sub. I am to understand that means no sick time, no paid holidays, a major pay cut and the loss of several other "perks" as they were.
I worked for three years on the Mexican border teaching seventh graders how to read and I spent last year putting that same energy into furthering the knowledge of the seventh grade Magnet students at John Burroughs Middle School. And now I am expected to carry on doing the same duties for a fraction of the pay? That is an insult to me and to the entire profession of teaching.
I don't know what I expect from you. Frankly, I've come to expect very little from my union and my former employer. But I thought you should hear the story of someone who cares and apparently, is not cared about.
Sincerely,
Angela Knapp
Former-LAUSD employee
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