A Time for Change

Today will be one of those days. One of those days when someone says do you remember where you were when....? In this case it will be when Barack Obama was inaugurated. Today I witnessed a historic occasion and the importance was not lost on me. I watched the swearing in inside the school auditorium with 6th, 7th and 8th graders, colleagues, and administrators. We were a diverse group, Koreans, African Americans, Caucasians, Filipinos, Japanese, Hispanics, young, old and yet we all sat in silence (or near they are middle schoolers after all!) and took in what was happening on the screen. Our new President talking about hard work and picking ourselves up, a country ready to lead again. The auditorium erupted in cheers time and again. They were listening and excited by this man who in their eyes has come to make their lives better.

I listened too. I listened to every word from we are in trouble to we can come through this and be better than before. I heard the message and I believe him. I believe it is a time for change in this country and I believe Barack Obama is the man to do it. Putting this country back together is no small task. Fortunately, President Obama has the weight of the American people behind him. I know he has the weight of my students behind him and from what I have seen if they put their mind to something watch out!

2008 - What Made it Great

I couldn't resist with the title! But really though I want to reflect and encourage you to reflect on what made this past year such a life altering year for us all. I don't think we consider enough how much the small yes's and no's, little changes here and there, and the huge life altering decisions that we make really create each year for us. So take a moment, look back and see what did you do that shaped 2008 for you. Here's mine:

January 1st - started reading the Bible, one slow day at a time and sometimes a whole month at once to catch up but I did it, on December 31st, 2008 I finished reading the entire bible and it changed me. It may have confused me more than clarified things but it had an impact and that's what matters.

Quit my job without having a new one lined up, not something I recommend to others. It was scary but strangely freeing. And turned out to be a great decision that I would not discover for many agonizing months.

Got a new job. After several anxiety ridden months and facing life in a cardboard box I pulled myself together and figured out how to get a job in a big city, you beg. It worked. I got the job I wanted and that I love. Thank you George.

Moved to Los Angeles, the biggest city in the world. Well probably not but it is for me. It is huge and scary and there are millions of people and cars and I never thought I would leave the tiny apartment we were going to be forced to live in. But then we found this amazing house and I drove to work and now I can drive many places as long as I have my GPS friend.

Became a patient at the Cedar Sinai Pain Center where they are helping me to control my headaches through means other than medication, I feel hopeful for the future and less pain.

Went back to church. I hadn't been attended church regularly in three years and had found other things to do with my Sunday mornings. Sarah encouraged me to try a church in Los Angeles and I agreed. I liked it and have been going back ever sense.

Back to school. Since I became an official teacher three years ago I have had this idea that I wanted to get my National Certification. Among educator's this is an elite group and not easily attained. I knew with the move to LA I would have to get my Masters and then I found out I could get my National Certification instead. It is a faster and less expensive alternative but like I said is more difficult. I have three more months and and a big test to take.

There are many more events that shaped the year for me, the presidential election, two visits to Michigan and one to Texas, a very long road trip, becoming addicted to facebook :-), moving my self for the first time, and much much more.

So what made it great for you?

Spirit of the Season

I got a surprise today when I got to school, I was informed that my third period would be attending the annual holiday music program. This was a pleasant surprise as I enjoy the assemblies JB puts on and the seating chart revealed we had front row seats!

I have never been more amazed at the abilities of middle school students than I was today at the concert. There were several girls that sang popular songs and the pipes on these young ladies would rival what you hear on the radio today. A young man played Chopin on the piano and having played piano quite a few years ago myself I was in awe.

The concert band and the orchestra played with a togetherness I have not seen from some high school ensembles and the instruments - violins, cellos, incredible.

If ever there was an argument for not getting rid of music programs in public school, this was it. For anyone who is interested the evening program is tomorrow, Thursday at 7 in the JB auditorium!

Balloon Pants

Yesterday as I got out of my car and started the trek across campus in the rain a student was suddenly at my side asking if she could walk with me. I am used to students saying good morning but I don't usually get escorted to class!

I said sure and we walked across campus in the cold. She was all bundled up in this ankle length brown coat with a fur lined hood. I asked her what was up and she spilled. Her mom had made her wear these "ugly, brown, balloon pants" her words not mine :-) They were not technically uniform so I asked why mom had made her wear them. Apparently laundry day had come and gone and they had not made it to the laundry mat so all her regular clothes were dirty and these were all that were left.

I told her it would be ok and she said she knew it would be because she intended to leave the coat on all day, good thing it was cold!

This brought back unpleasant memories of my middle school days and the relief that I no longer have to wear long coats to cover up bad outfits (although maybe I should!) What are some of your worst middle school moments.

By the way, she made it all day without taking off the coat and no one saw the horrific pants:-)

This old house

Last night as I was getting ready for bed I turned on the hair dryer and just like that the hair dryer went off, along with the television, the space heaters and multiple other the lamp. Yep we had blown a fuse. Up until this point we were not aware all the outlets were connected to one circuit. Of course this happens at night, when it has started to rain and it is cooolllddd. So I don my rain slicker, grab a flashlight and head to the backyard, aren't all fuse boxes in the backyard!

Once outside I locate the fuse box and realize the fuses aren't labeled, I look for ones that are off but don't see any so it was trial and error from here on out. Sarah was inside waiting for something to turn back on and I started flipping switches and nothing was happening. I thought we were in pretty big trouble when I flipped one switch and every light in the house when out! Oops!

I finally found the right one and everything was OK, now we know we can't run everything at once is all. I guess growing up in a old house served us well!

Advent Devotional 2008

This is the devotional I wrote for the Advent book at church this year. Mine was scheduled to be read on Sunday, the second Sunday of Advent. I am a couple days late in posting it but I thought I would share -


Isaiah 11:1-10 looks toward the rule of the one whose life is to be shaped by the “spirit of the Lord”. In advent we are preparing for Christmas, the birth of Jesus, our savior. With that we are also preparing for the reign of Christ and the celebration of the opportunity to become members of God’s Kingdom.
The image of the stump in Isaiah gives us a visual representation of taking away the old to get back to the beginning of where our hearts are supposed to be. It also allows for new growth and love through the birth of the baby Jesus.
The season of advent is a time of newness, of celebration. It is also a time for gifts. Not the wrapped packages under the tree, but the spiritual gifts God sent to us in Jesus. Jesus was sent to give us the gifts of the spirit including wisdom and understanding. On that very special night so very long ago few people understood just how much wisdom and understanding a tiny baby would have. Jesus’ life is an inspiration to us. The baby in the manger grew up to face mistrust, adversaries, and mocking at ever turn yet he continued to share his wisdom and understanding with those around him. Jesus never gave up teaching and spreading the word through the land.
As we go through this season of advent, remember not only the gifts that you receive but also that Jesus came bearing gifts that Christmas morning long ago; gifts that remind us to be tolerant and to learn from each other.

This is why people don't like children.

Thanksgiving 2008

Thanksgiving 2008 dawned peacefully. Sarah, Sus and I gathered all our goodies and headed off to church where our adopted Thanksgiving was taking place. When we got there we dug right in and peeled potatoes, set up tables and chairs, helped with the turkeys, played board games and were generally having a terrific time.

A couple hours into the festivities I took a walk with a couple others to deliver some food to one of the regulars of the Tuesday homeless lunch. In the parking lot we ran into a man who asked if we were serving dinner. We answered no, said we were sorry an walked away. We assumed he left. A few minutes later The person I was with got a phone call from someone at the church, the man had been let in by someone who didn't know he wasn't supposed to be there and was refusing to leave. We hurried back to the church and sure enough found the man from the parking lot in the kitchen. He was told to leave or the police would be called, he said go ahead and call him, he said he wanted to tell them we wouldn't feed him.

One of the people there had to physically remove him, we called security and it was dealt with and after the fact I found out the kids had locked themselves in the other room, which was a good move on their part, they are smart kids :-)

It was sad but Sarah and the others offered to give him food from the Tuesday lunch cupboard and send him on his way. He wanted our food. He wanted to stay. We couldn't let him stay, it wasn't responsible. No one knew him or even recognized him and we had no way of knowing if he had a weapon of any kind.

Sarah had the most contact with him as she was mashing potatoes when he arrived and he kept telling her he was a "hungry tiger"

We all decided to put the incident behind us and have a good day which we did, more people came, 25 in all and they all brought food - lots of it!

It was fantastic gathering of people who otherwise wouldn't have been together, people who found a way to celebrate and share something special with friends, make new ones and be together giving thanks for another year.

Still a Tourist

I was reminded this week that I am still a tourist in this city. I was able to do some sightseeing this weekend when Susie was in town and saw some things I had seen before but also some things I hadn't. I took my first trip to Griffith Park, the largest Municipal Park in the country. We only saw a portion of it but I will definitely be going back for more.

One thing we saw was the observatory, what an incredible place! Not to mention FREE admission and parking! The building is beautiful and there is so much inside to learn about space and time. There are several telescopes that you can look at stars through on clear nights. We were their during the day but we are planning a night trip soon to get a look at the stars up close.

When the sun started to set we headed over to the part of the park that is hosting the annual light show. It is a 1.6 mile walk that takes you by incredible light displays of winter scenes and landmarks around Los Angeles.

City Walk

My best friend from Michigan came into town yesterday and we took off running, lunch in Larchmont with a celebrity sighting (Micheal Rappaport) and Pinkberry! Then we met up with Emily and headed to Universal City Walk for a night of fun, we took in all the sights and had a fun dinner at Hard Rock Cafe. I enjoyed a Rock-arita which I must say is a new favorite beverage :-) We came home and crashed pretty early as the time change is always difficult on those east coasters!

All I know

I don't know a lot but I know that I am a Christian. I accepted Jesus into my heart at church camp sitting in a chapel at an evening service. I remember it vividly. And since that day I have worked hard to follow Jesus. That is not an easy task. As a disciple of Christ I try very hard not to judge others. To love them the way I want to be loved and to show my faith instead of telling it. I am not good at putting my faith into words and many people are. I admire people who can articulate what they believe.

I believe in Jesus Christ, that he asked us not to judge others but to love them and that is something I don't think government can dictate. People say government is too big. I don't know. All I know is I haven't found the love of my life but when I do I want the make the decision to marry him. I am not a lesbian but I will not judge those who are. because I too am a sinner. I sin everyday. Just as I strive to walk like Jesus I ask for forgiveness and am granted it without question. Every time.

That is all I know. This issue and many others aren't political for me, but are biblical. Because the greatest commandment is love; to love Jesus and to love others.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" (Matthew 22:36 NIV). Jesus replied, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV).

I'm going to ride the subway

Yep, Saturday I'm going to ride the subway in L.A. for the first time, I didn't really even know that we had a subway. There is a rally about proposition 8 at city hall and our a group is meeting at our church to attend the rally in support of those who have lost their basic right to marry the person they love.

I was not going to go. I was experiencing a little apathy and a little anxiety. There is bound to be a lot of people there and it's Saturday after all. But after watching Keith Olbermann's statement (check it out here) on the passing of proposition 8 I can't not go to the rally, I cannot be apathetic.

So I will ride the subway, another new thing!

I read a book yesterday. I have a habit of doing that, reading a book all in one day. But sometimes books are so good you can't put them down. Randy Pausch was an engineer among other things. He died last summer of cancer. Some of you may be familiar with his book called "The Last Lecture", if you haven't read it, I encourage you to and if you haven't see his actual last lecture it is available to watch free online. I learned a lot from listening to Randy. He was a very smart man. I don't know anymore about engineering than I did before I read his book but I know a little more about life. I like books like that. Books that make you think about yourself, where you have been, where you are and where you are going.
Randy credits his parents with much of his success, he says they encouraged him to be creative and didn't try to push him in one direction or another. I am not going to give away a lot here but but one anecdote that made me laugh out loud and reminded me of my mom was when he was having trouble in a class and she responded with "We know how you feel honey, when your father was your age he was fighting the Germans". Enough said! Tough but real, that's why this blog is not about Randy Pausch, it' about Tommy and Christina Knapp.

I have been through a lot in 28 years but let's face it, I wouldn't even be here if my parents hadn't met and decided to have me when the Dr.'s told them it was dangerous. It was dangerous all right. I was the kid who had to go to the emergency room repeatedly for things like planks in her feet from running on the hard wood floor and getting her head stuck in the upstairs railing, The one who broke her knee on the family vacation to sea world. The one who left her most prized possession (a stuffed Winnie the Pooh) in a hotel on the way to Disney World. The one who let the neighbor light matches in her bedroom. The one who colored on the brand new television with black marker. The one whose teachers always said, she's great but she talks a lot; to which they replied, "we know". I think you get the picture.

My parents have never been ones to punish. As a child I had a sit in a chair more than a few times for a time out. But since I don't remember it that well it couldn't have been that scarring. I was spanked when necessary and sent to my room once and only once. My parents taught my sister and I through example. We had a Christian home and through and through. There was a large amount of trust and if you violated that trust there were consequences but there was no grudge. Because at the risk of sounding like a cliche, that's what Jesus would have done.

I didn't realize it at the time. Sometimes it's hard to see the situation for what it is when you are in it but I see it clearly now. The expectation that dinner was on the table every night and everyone was there unless you had a very good excuse. Again, no punishment, no demanding. It was family time. It was the way my parents were raised and the way they were raising us. The expectation that homework was meant to be done and done right. My dad spent countless hours helping us with math at night because that was what he was supposed to do in his eyes.

My parents have worked hard their entire lives, they both graduated from college, my dad after they were married and he was working. They worked hard for our family, so that we could have a good life and a firm foundation. I have struggled the past few years and they have been there every step of the way. When I couldn't find a teaching job not once did anyone suggest I go get a job at Starbucks, they packed the boxes and took me to Arizona so I could start my career. They sacrificed. Again.

When I was in high school my parents were asked to teach a parenting class at our church. At the time I was indifferent about it. I liked my parents and all but did I think they should teach a class....Today I think everyone should take a page from their book. Their not perfect, yep they made mistakes, everyone does. But I know now why they were asked to teach that class and I am so proud of them.

Every time I am unsure, sick, happy, sad, angry, or anything the first phone call I make is to my parents. They have never tried to push their dreams on me only asked what my dreams are and how I am going to achieve them. I am forever grateful and I want them to know that now.

That's what I learned from "The Last Lecture" Say it now.

Germs!

It's official, I'm sick. sore throat, chest hurting, runny nose, headache, tired, hot, cold, slight fever sick. Yuck. This is run of the mill stuff for a teacher and I am thankful it is less than when I first started teaching but I still get sick a couple of times a year. It could also be the season change, I haven't had a "fall" in a couple of years.

Never the less, I got to have a night of nothing last night and conked out at 9, did a lot of nothing today. Sarah made me homemade turkey soup (yum!) and will probably stay in tomorrow too.

Anyway, enough whining, off to drink hot cider and get feeling better, stay healthy everyone!

New Experience #78

I'm not really keeping track but tonight we did our something new for week. After we got our church directory pictures taken we stopped for dinner at Pinks, the longest running hot dog stand. We have never stopped before because the line is always forever long but it was not bad tonight so we pulled up and took a chance.

The hot dogs and onion rings were great! Then we had pinkberry for dessert, I love Thursdays at the Knapp house!

A Whole New World

No, no magic carpet ride for you! Just a new President-Elect! Yep. I'm excited. Sarah had class last night and I was like, I'm not going to watch it. I turned off the television, went into the office and started to work but it was too quiet so I turned the TV in the living room on for some noise and then was texting with some people and then McCain succeeded and then I had to watch Obama's speech and then Sarah came home and I was like this happened and this was good and this was exciting.

And she was like, not going to watch huh? Yeah. I got excited. This is democracy in action. I am excited that m candidate won, however, I truly do support America. I never once turned my back on the troops serving our country or the people of this nation who are have a hard time because of the economy.

That was the message of McCain's speech last night and I want to say the people booing were indeed sore losers. It is fine to feel emotion, to be angry that your hard work was not fruitful or to be sad your candidate is not going to Pennsylvania Avenue but to out right show disrespect you your new commander in chief is wrong. That is the example they set last night. Not John McCain. He was gracious. He called Obama his President and I respect him for that.

Now the election is over and my life will go back to business as usual although you may occasionally get a blog or two about union stuff as we are fighting with the school district.

Au Revoir!

Playing Catch Up

It has recently been brought to my attention that I have been trying to catch up on some lost time. When I moved to LA and had some of my medicine changed around I have been feeling better than I have in years. That has lots of up sides and some down sides.

I started committing to a lot of activities and keeping very busy. To the point of being a bit compulsive. The Dr.s have assured me that this is the normal course of action I have to take in order to separate myself from the medication and find the reasonable person in between. I am not sure about all of this. It is a bit unsettling.

Some other obsessive habits have come out in the past weeks and adjusting has been difficult. But on the upside I we have a very clean house and I have a very organized classroom. As some of you know this is not always a good thing and there are bad behaviors and feelings that come with all this. I go back to the Dr. tomorrow for more injections in my shoulder so hopefully I will get some more insight into what kind of medication is an option for me.

It makes me wonder. Is this the real me, because it doesn't feel very good. Or is the medicated me the real me. Who am I supposed to be. It is a common issue with mood disorders. And since decision making is difficult in people with mood disorders is doubly difficult!

I will keep you posted on my progress!

Tired

I'm tired. I'm finally tired. I have been on a roller coaster since I have been at the pain clinic. First I went through the withdrawal when I went off the medication and the the obsessive compulsiveness came back, slowly at first and then I got this talking thing. I used to get teased by my family that I was born talking. It went away with the medication, I was able to censor myself but now it's back, It's harder to control the talking. And the cleaning and the other things.

Then the hyper activity came. I starting getting up early every morning, very unusual for me. I couldn't sit still and watch T.V. without something to occupy my hands. I was multitasking my multitasking, etc...

Then today I came home from work and I realized I was tired. Not hyper, just tired. I still did lots of stuff because I haven't gotten into the new pharmacologist yet so I am still dealing with the obsessive compulsive stuff but I am feeling positive on the progress I have made so far.

So I am going to bed, earlier than I have in several weeks and hopefully will sleep all night until my alarm goes off. I am very much ready to have things go back to my form of "normal".

Hell No We Won't Go!

Today was my first official union event! I went to school with my new union t-shirt and put a sign around my neck like a giant billboard. I spent 30 minutes handing fliers to parents who were dropping their children off for school. It was my first day in front of the school for drop off and let me just say - more kids get dropped off by parents and carpools than ride the bus by quite a ratio. I ran out of fliers. It was pretty cool to be out there actually doing something, trying to get something done for the teachers. For me. I need better health care and I can't afford to have the district cut the benefits now. If anything they need to increase our benefits to keep up with rising health care costs.

Peer Praise

Let's face - we all like to be liked. Well I guess I can't speak for everyone in the world but I like to be liked. In fact I have this fear of being unliked. I know, I have a fear of many things beyond my control, yada yada, yada. It is a bit ironic that I occasionally dislike people and don't seem to have a problem with that ;-) (you can all keep your sarcastic quips to yourselves).

Anyway - the point of that is to tell you that I received two extremely nice compliments last week that had a huge impact on me and the way I view the other teachers at my school. The literacy coach at my school told me that I was doing an awesome job and I should stop worrying about making making mistakes. She said she was telling everyone about the awesome job I was doing with my classes. As good as this made me feel, it also gave me some insight into the way I was being treated by some tenured staff in my department who have been a little, shall we say cool. I have not been welcomed into that group. But I am working on it.

That other fabulous compliment came very unexpectedly. I was starting class when a math teacher came in, escorting a student. If we have the time sometimes we will do that instead of writing a pass to give the student a couple minutes of one on one time. He interrupted to tell my class ho lucky they were to have me because the teacher who had the room before me was a bore and didn't do anything fun like sing or do projects (OK, I only sang once and it was very brief). The kids clapped for me and he left.

At lunch I sought this teacher out and thanked hm for the compliment. He said that the kids he had last year come back and report about the teachers they have this year. Apparently I am among the favorites for seventh grade magnet. I told him the newness would wear off eventually :-)

For all of you with busy, stressful careers, you know the time it takes to point out improvements that a colleague can make or to ask a favor, let alone give them credit or a compliment. I truly appreciate the kindness I experienced last week. I am going to make it a priority to make more of those observations to my peers. I challenge you to as well. We all know what a smile can do, imagine what a kind word will do!