Fishing

I am on vacation. I like vacation, I don't like going on vacation but I like being there. The getting there part is stressful for me. I hate packing, taking too much, not enough, forgetting things, leaving your house for a while. It is all difficult for people on some level, for people like me it is very difficult. I get very anxious and tend to just put off packing and then just throw some stuff in and hope it works. So far so good.

We arrived safe and sound in Chicago and had a good appointment with Dr. Merle Diamond. She has been such a huge help these past few years and it is sad to say goodbye to her and the clinic but like she said, they are there if I need them. She recommenced a great doc in L.A. and is confident I will thrive in my new surroundings. I am glad someone is!

Now we are in Howell, have been for almost a week and have settled i nicely. I have done some gardening, reading, lots of sleeping and visited with friends and relatives. Mostly just tried to relax and take it easy. Although there was a gardening incident and I ended up walking like I was 95 years old for a few days because I couldn't bed over but I am on the mend now. Always something with me!

Today we are going to Kalamazoo to visit our friend Leslie who is having a baby next week, her second. It will be fun to see the town. It is weird though that we really don't know that many people there anymore.

It has been hard for me to relax with the no job thing hanging over my head. I have been searching the Internet as often as possible and trying to apply for as much as possible. I know I am doing all that I can and I have been talking to God about it a lot but my brain is having a hard time connecting to the trust that my heart has right now (not sure if that makes sense).

The house still seems kind of empty without brownie. Christmas was really busy so it was different but now, in the quiet moments of reading or just sitting with the windows open I look for her. I just expect her to come walking downstairs and jump up on the chair. Monday was the one year anniversary of the day we took her to the vet. We all still miss her very much, I know someday I want to have a kitty that has a permanent place in my life like Brownie did for me growing up.

My favorite thing about being home so far has been fishing. I haven't actually been fishing but we have taken to walking around the lake in the morning and there are always people fishing. It reminds me of when I was little and we would go up and fish there too. Right there in the cemetery. I loved to fish, my mom says that I would sit for long periods of time, quietly, just holding the pole and waiting. Which was quite a feat for me. The only times I was quiet as a child were when I was fishing and when I was in the time out chair.

The other morning I saw a young boy reel in a fish with his grandfather helping him. Please, have no delusions, these are teeny fish, that no one will eat. But it reminded me of fishing with my grandpa MacDonald on vacation one year at a cabin up north where we caught sunfish, it is the only time I can actually remember eating fish!

I hope everyone is enjoying their summers so far!!