However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
I was reading this morning, thankful to have some quiet time to be able to reflect and think about what I was reading. I am so glad that I haven't given up on the Bible on one year project, it would have been so easy. There have been times that I have been a month behind but I have caught up and now I am so into it, even though I have read much of it before in pieces. Reading it in order like this is very much reading it for the first time and really seeing the sequence of events. The verse above from Acts is not a well known verse to me. I have studied acts before, I do believe I even led a study on it in college. But this morning in the quietness of house I was guided to this passage.
I have been really struggling with the upcoming move to Los Angeles. Not having a job yet terrifies me beyond any measure that I have ever known before. It constantly sits in the forefront of my brain, no matter what is going on around me. I have read two novels (not short ones) in the span of about 4 days trying to take my mind off of it, I have taken care of other matters. Sarah and I have our new insurance, we are very close to having new cell phones with GPS (so we won't get lost!) and I have been running errands for my mom, visiting her at work, helping out in the garden, around the house, cooking. But I still find myself checking my phone, e-mail, list servs, 100 times a day.
Everyone around me is so encouraging. They reassure me, they listen to me reason it through, they let me cry or yell. I have a great support system but ultimately it comes down to me and my belief in myself.
Not so long ago I had a strong unwavering faith in God and his son Jesus Christ. I could preach the gospel on a moments notice, lead small groups, I was a disciple of my God, proud to be a child studying His word and active in the mission to bring others closer to Him. That changed somewhere along the way. I strayed from the path, got further form the light. The books collected dust, the Sunday mornings became harder to do and I became lukewarm. The very person I had railed against many times.
Today when I read Acts 20:24 I realized that Paul was one of the most incredible people. He wasn't Jesus, he was a prophet. He was an ordinary man who had to get up everyday and make the conscious decision to do God's work, complete the task laid out for him.
My goal is small, not to be like Jesus, I need to work up to that. I want to be like Paul, a simple task. It only takes up on verse in the entire Bible. Really only half a verse - to testify to the gospel of God's grace. I can do that. I think it will help take my mind off the other stuff and help me focus on what I need to focus on. I learned a long time ago that if I focus on God the rest will come. How easy that is to forget in the midst of our busy lives.
Dear God your grace is the greatest gift because you give it everyday without question and without asking. Please remind my heart to live like Paul and celebrate your grace in the world. Amen.
I have been really struggling with the upcoming move to Los Angeles. Not having a job yet terrifies me beyond any measure that I have ever known before. It constantly sits in the forefront of my brain, no matter what is going on around me. I have read two novels (not short ones) in the span of about 4 days trying to take my mind off of it, I have taken care of other matters. Sarah and I have our new insurance, we are very close to having new cell phones with GPS (so we won't get lost!) and I have been running errands for my mom, visiting her at work, helping out in the garden, around the house, cooking. But I still find myself checking my phone, e-mail, list servs, 100 times a day.
Everyone around me is so encouraging. They reassure me, they listen to me reason it through, they let me cry or yell. I have a great support system but ultimately it comes down to me and my belief in myself.
Not so long ago I had a strong unwavering faith in God and his son Jesus Christ. I could preach the gospel on a moments notice, lead small groups, I was a disciple of my God, proud to be a child studying His word and active in the mission to bring others closer to Him. That changed somewhere along the way. I strayed from the path, got further form the light. The books collected dust, the Sunday mornings became harder to do and I became lukewarm. The very person I had railed against many times.
Today when I read Acts 20:24 I realized that Paul was one of the most incredible people. He wasn't Jesus, he was a prophet. He was an ordinary man who had to get up everyday and make the conscious decision to do God's work, complete the task laid out for him.
My goal is small, not to be like Jesus, I need to work up to that. I want to be like Paul, a simple task. It only takes up on verse in the entire Bible. Really only half a verse - to testify to the gospel of God's grace. I can do that. I think it will help take my mind off the other stuff and help me focus on what I need to focus on. I learned a long time ago that if I focus on God the rest will come. How easy that is to forget in the midst of our busy lives.
Dear God your grace is the greatest gift because you give it everyday without question and without asking. Please remind my heart to live like Paul and celebrate your grace in the world. Amen.
2 comments:
Okay, Paul, lead us all!
I LOVE YOU ~ S.
SO glad you had a good quiet time this morning......makes a difference, doesn't it?
Post a Comment