Hunting Trip

I am exhausted. After two weeks of doing well, mostly nothing, I went on a hunting trip. Fortunately for me it did not involve guns. Sarah and I went to L.A. to look at apartments and I had a job interview, yippee! We left Saturday morning and I drove the five hours up to the city. We found our hotel very easily thanks to the nice lady on the phone. I think she is a computer but she is very helpful just the same.

If you refer to Sarah's blog you can read all about our excursions in the city, I won't bore you with repeating all the details, I will say this. LA is big, very big but the more we drove around, I did get used to it some and I feel better about the move now.

I ended up having two interviews, I got a call Sunday evening to set up a second one in the valley for Monday afternoon. Here's what happened:

Interview #1 - Jewish day school 5th grade position. I am not, nor will I ever be Jewish. I am not from West LA. Two strikes against me in the eyes of the interviewer. She spent the whole time telling me why I wasn't qualified and at one point asked if the public schools were hiring. I left feeling pretty beat down and insulted. Knowing I had no hope of being hired. I was upset because we had spent so much time and money to be in town for the interview.

Interview #2 - Jewish day school 5th grade position. The Head of School was very nice, she was excited to meet me and learn about ME. She had no problem with me not being Jewish and I totally tattled on interviewer #1, she was appalled! I am hoping for an offer from this one by next week, she asked me to call her if I got any other offers this week. I didn't tell her the chances of that were very small!

Encino seems like a good fit for us, we can be Valley girls! It is not too far from UCLA and a little (I stress little) calmer than the city.

Anyway, what will be will be. We are both exhausted from the three day hunting experience but are closer to housing and jobs so that is a good sign. So far my favorite thing about LA is that there is frozen yogurt at every corner!!!!!!

Fear Be Gone

I made a decision tonight, a big one. I decided that starting right now (well about 30 minutes ago) I am not going to give in to the fear anymore. Fear is a waste of time. At least in this instance because I have nothing to be afraid of, yet. I don't have a job to worry about, an apartment to worry about, etc... Frankly I should be living it up right now, enjoying this carefree time. So I have spent the past few minutes not only watching "Pretty Woman" on TBS but reminding myself of the brave and courageous things I have done in the past. Sometimes you just have to throw humility to the wind!



I acted in the 7th grade play (it was about baseball, I was one of 5 that had speaking parts!)

I am proud to say I have never done recreational drugs even though they have been offered

I went to college and lived in the dorms and made friends even though it was very scary!

I spent three years working in a dying ministry to show college students there was more to college than being drunk.

I went to the Dr. and got put on depression and anxiety medication because I knew something was wrong. I was a sophomore in college.

I spent a summer working in Appalachia, the toughest thing I have ever done by far.

I told my parents that I got a speeding ticket with a mandatory court appearance (lots of tears).

I have said goodbye to two grandfathers and many other wonderful people I have known in my life and learned that it is brave to love because in loving you lose part of yourself but you get much more back.

I started a small business.

I survived three hospital stays for migraines and two surgeries.

I moved to the middle of nowhere for a job I had wanted my entire life.

I spent 3 years teaching children, many of whom did not speak English well, were involved in gang activity, drug use and came from low income situations.

I have traveled to Mexico countless times without being kidnapped or detained bt border control

I quit my job and gave notice on my apartment to follow a new adventure and dream to the big city.



When you add it to the list it doesn't seem so scary because all those other things worked out alright!

Acts 20:24

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

I was reading this morning, thankful to have some quiet time to be able to reflect and think about what I was reading. I am so glad that I haven't given up on the Bible on one year project, it would have been so easy. There have been times that I have been a month behind but I have caught up and now I am so into it, even though I have read much of it before in pieces. Reading it in order like this is very much reading it for the first time and really seeing the sequence of events. The verse above from Acts is not a well known verse to me. I have studied acts before, I do believe I even led a study on it in college. But this morning in the quietness of house I was guided to this passage.

I have been really struggling with the upcoming move to Los Angeles. Not having a job yet terrifies me beyond any measure that I have ever known before. It constantly sits in the forefront of my brain, no matter what is going on around me. I have read two novels (not short ones) in the span of about 4 days trying to take my mind off of it, I have taken care of other matters. Sarah and I have our new insurance, we are very close to having new cell phones with GPS (so we won't get lost!) and I have been running errands for my mom, visiting her at work, helping out in the garden, around the house, cooking. But I still find myself checking my phone, e-mail, list servs, 100 times a day.

Everyone around me is so encouraging. They reassure me, they listen to me reason it through, they let me cry or yell. I have a great support system but ultimately it comes down to me and my belief in myself.

Not so long ago I had a strong unwavering faith in God and his son Jesus Christ. I could preach the gospel on a moments notice, lead small groups, I was a disciple of my God, proud to be a child studying His word and active in the mission to bring others closer to Him. That changed somewhere along the way. I strayed from the path, got further form the light. The books collected dust, the Sunday mornings became harder to do and I became lukewarm. The very person I had railed against many times.

Today when I read Acts 20:24 I realized that Paul was one of the most incredible people. He wasn't Jesus, he was a prophet. He was an ordinary man who had to get up everyday and make the conscious decision to do God's work, complete the task laid out for him.

My goal is small, not to be like Jesus, I need to work up to that. I want to be like Paul, a simple task. It only takes up on verse in the entire Bible. Really only half a verse - to testify to the gospel of God's grace. I can do that. I think it will help take my mind off the other stuff and help me focus on what I need to focus on. I learned a long time ago that if I focus on God the rest will come. How easy that is to forget in the midst of our busy lives.

Dear God your grace is the greatest gift because you give it everyday without question and without asking. Please remind my heart to live like Paul and celebrate your grace in the world. Amen.

Fishing

I am on vacation. I like vacation, I don't like going on vacation but I like being there. The getting there part is stressful for me. I hate packing, taking too much, not enough, forgetting things, leaving your house for a while. It is all difficult for people on some level, for people like me it is very difficult. I get very anxious and tend to just put off packing and then just throw some stuff in and hope it works. So far so good.

We arrived safe and sound in Chicago and had a good appointment with Dr. Merle Diamond. She has been such a huge help these past few years and it is sad to say goodbye to her and the clinic but like she said, they are there if I need them. She recommenced a great doc in L.A. and is confident I will thrive in my new surroundings. I am glad someone is!

Now we are in Howell, have been for almost a week and have settled i nicely. I have done some gardening, reading, lots of sleeping and visited with friends and relatives. Mostly just tried to relax and take it easy. Although there was a gardening incident and I ended up walking like I was 95 years old for a few days because I couldn't bed over but I am on the mend now. Always something with me!

Today we are going to Kalamazoo to visit our friend Leslie who is having a baby next week, her second. It will be fun to see the town. It is weird though that we really don't know that many people there anymore.

It has been hard for me to relax with the no job thing hanging over my head. I have been searching the Internet as often as possible and trying to apply for as much as possible. I know I am doing all that I can and I have been talking to God about it a lot but my brain is having a hard time connecting to the trust that my heart has right now (not sure if that makes sense).

The house still seems kind of empty without brownie. Christmas was really busy so it was different but now, in the quiet moments of reading or just sitting with the windows open I look for her. I just expect her to come walking downstairs and jump up on the chair. Monday was the one year anniversary of the day we took her to the vet. We all still miss her very much, I know someday I want to have a kitty that has a permanent place in my life like Brownie did for me growing up.

My favorite thing about being home so far has been fishing. I haven't actually been fishing but we have taken to walking around the lake in the morning and there are always people fishing. It reminds me of when I was little and we would go up and fish there too. Right there in the cemetery. I loved to fish, my mom says that I would sit for long periods of time, quietly, just holding the pole and waiting. Which was quite a feat for me. The only times I was quiet as a child were when I was fishing and when I was in the time out chair.

The other morning I saw a young boy reel in a fish with his grandfather helping him. Please, have no delusions, these are teeny fish, that no one will eat. But it reminded me of fishing with my grandpa MacDonald on vacation one year at a cabin up north where we caught sunfish, it is the only time I can actually remember eating fish!

I hope everyone is enjoying their summers so far!!

Things I Have Learned

My days here in Yuma are numbered as we are getting packed and ready to fly to Michigan and then the big move to Hollywood. No, I do not have a job yet and yes, I am alright with that. That's not what this blog is about. This blog is about my life over the last three years. I am going to make another list. Lists are really my forte. Sarah is the prose expert, I prefer the quick, to the point, no extra words needed, list format. So here are some things that living in Yuma, Arizona has taught me.

* The Mexican border is very different than the Canadian border
* Spanish is difficult to learn but you can get buy with a few basics including "I don't speak Spanish" "One moment please" "Hello" "Thank You" and being a teacher, knowing the cuss words helps too ;-)
* The world is bigger than I ever thought possible and my problems are very small compared to others.
* Authentic Mexican food is very different than fast food Mexican
* No teacher training program in the world could have prepared me for what I walked into at Crane Middle School.
* I love 7th graders, every hormone crazy, hyper-active, rule breaking, gangster and gangster-wannabe one of them.
* Trust yourself first. Always.
* Don't ever trust a 7th grader or the parent of one. Believe that they are trying and give them the benefit of the doubt but don't ever fully trust them.
* The pain of seeing someone you have spent time on, given part of yourself to, led away in handcuffs is very overwhelming and incredibly disappointing. Every time I have had a student arrested I have felt like I somehow let him or her down. True or not, that feeling takes a long time to go away.
* Find out quickly who you can trust and who you can't, it is surprisingly easy to do.
* Make friends with the cafeteria coordinator. Patti was a lifesaver to me on more than one occasion!
* Never be afraid to go to your boss - it is their job to take care of things. I have grown very bold in that area. I am known for busting into my boss' office and bringing things to her attention that otherwise would go overlooked because no one else would speak up.
* ASK. I have had to learn to ask for everything. No one gives you anything in education, if you want it ask for it, the worst they can say is no and they rarely do because people don't ask.
* The government has a terrible way of deporting people, I have seen it in person and it makes me sick.
* Military spouses are the strongest people I have ever met, ever. Even stronger than their spouses serving. Please don't take that wrong but I have seen the ugly, close up side of both worlds and it's not pretty. The toll that a tour of duty takes on people left behind is almost unbearable. It is not just the tour of duty either, the time away from families that being stationed here in the U.S. takes is just as bad and can be just as dangerous as serving over seas.
* Living alone is incredibly scary.
* Timezones are tricky to figure out, even if you have taken college math.
* Family is the most important thing in the world.
* Teaching full-time is more difficult than anyone can tell you it is going to be in college.
* Watching someone gets pantsed is not as fun now as it was as a 7th grader (everyone say eewwww).
* Indian food is good, sushi is not.
* 120 degrees is too hot for anyone, anywhere.
* Seat belts burn, badly, when it is over 105 degrees out.
* Dust storms are worse than rain storms because if you left your window open you have a whole house to clean.
* Shopping after a bad day is not a good idea but it makes you feel a whole lot better!
* Having a queen size bed is the best grown up decision I have made yet.
* Yuma, Arizona houses some of the kindest, most helpful, bravest, loving people I have ever met and will not soon forget.

This is not it, I could go on for days but then you would get bored, (if you even made it to the bottom!) I have enjoyed much of my time here, met incredible people and become a better teacher. There have been down days too, when I have wanted nothing more than to get on a plane and fly home as fast as I could. Lucky for me plane tickets are expensive and I don't make much money! To all my Yuman friends - I love you and will miss you. To those back home - See you next week and I hope it is cooler there than here!

Next stop Hollywood Baby!

Happy Fathers Day Dad!

For 30 years Tom Knapp has been a father, a good one and here's why:

- He taught me how to play golf
- He let me follow him around outside and in the garage
- We built an airplane out of wood, from scratch, together once and he let me paint it hot pink!
- He and my grandpa built us a 2-story play house because we didn't have a tree for a tree house - Whenever we are in the car together alone he asks me what I want to do with my life and where I think I will end up. He's been asking since I can remember
- We have had lengthy discussions on what we will do when we win the lottery
- Everything is a we with him, never and I
- He has been known to sit in a mall for three or more hours waiting for us to shop and never said a word other than - did you find anything?
- He loves to talk to Sarah and I on the phone, about anything
- I can't think of one thing I have ever asked him to do that he has said no to
- He spanked me (good discipline is important in being a good parent!)
- He only yells when truly necessary
- He cries without apology or shame
- He loves to read and was a great role model for me because I love to read also
- He is great at crossword puzzles and trivia
- The only things he can't remember are the the things he was out of the country for ;-)
- He hides presents, really well
- He loves his job and always was able to take time off for school stuff when I was younger
- He kills big bugs and spiders
- He listens to me cry and always tries to make it better
- He drove an un-airconditioned u-haul across the country while I flew so I could have my stuff when I moved and he is going to do it again!

There is so much more, so many memories and times that my father has sacrificed his wants and needs to put mine or Sarah's first. Living with 3 girls for 30 years could not have been easy but he has done it with love and kindness and even though I am not in his presence today I know that my dad knows he is loved and thought of often.

Happy Fathers day!

Bittersweet

Three years ago I wouldn't have been able to say this but today I say it and mean it with my whole heart, I am sad to leave Yuma. YES, the afore mentioned surface of the sun, cockroach infested, 50th in the nation for public schools, 2000 miles from any family Yuma Arizona.

Last night we had a big bash at Lutes Casino (not a real casino) - the whole gang and some extras came out, the group thinned and we went to a an actual casino to see some of our co-workers band play. Shannon (moved to Tucson last year) stayed over and we spent all day today together, eating out, packing my classroom and watching movies. It was a good way to end the school year. We have 4 more actual school days and then we're out.

My room is mostly packed up I will finish tomorrow and be all out Thursday. It is hard for me to pack it all up and leave. It was my first school, my first career job, and my big move away from home. I only teared up twice today but I am sure there will be actual tears before the week is out. I am planning a blog before we move of moments to remember so I am collecting thoughts for that but it won't be for a while (I know you are all waiting anxiously. )

On a more focused notice, I am feeling better. I am so thankful to have the best doctors in the world working with me and on call when I need them. The stumbling block is going to be to find someone to replace my massage therapist in LA, Arcy is the best ever and I don't know if someone can match what she does.

I have been researching neurologists online in LA and it looks really promising. I am going to visit some before school starts and pick one out that I like. It sounds good to say that. I get to pick one instead of having to go to the only one in town!

Back to my fun weekend with Shannon!!!!

Long Time

It's been a while I know but life has taken over again, here's the lowdown on the last month.

- I had the stomach flu for four days: yuck!
- I have had some pretty fierce migraines (I have been home for two days avoiding the noise)
- I am trying to be patient, waiting for contract offers, it is hard to be patient with your future
- My parents celebrated their 35Th wedding anniversary this week by taking a long weekend away and we (Sarah, Julia and I) were able to surprise them with amenities in their hotel room!
- School ends next Thursday - bittersweet to leave my friends after three years but on to new adventures!
- The Mary Kay business has really taken off the last couple of weeks! I am going to stick it out for a while and see if I can't keep it up for some side cash in the future.

I know it doesn't seem like a lot but life has been incredibly hectic lately and being under the weather hasn't helped. I can't wait for summer vacation!!!!

What's new with everyone else?

Happy Birthday Mom

My mother Christina Ann Macdonald Knapp was born on May 14th, 1949 to Don and Barb MacDonald, she was thier first child. I have heard many stories over the almost 28 years that I have known my mother and learned a great many things about her, here are some of the most memorable:

*She liked to play in the sandbox - naked (there are pictures to prove it!)

*She was grounded as a teenager a lot! Which is why she does not care for flowered wall paper, as she tells it, she counted flowers many times when sent to her room.

*She played field hockey.

*She has the same best friend today that she had in elementary school and they still live less than a mile from each other.

*She wanted to be a nurse when she was younger

*She worked incredibly hard to help her family through difficult times and put herself through college at Lansing Community College by working long hours as a cook and waitress.

*My mother met my father at a bar and did not pay much attention as her encounters with his older brother in the past had not gone well.

*They got married six short months later. (after which she learned my father was not a master skiier!)

*She took a government job so my dad could finish school and they could start a family, she never went back to her dream of managing a restaurant. She sacrificed for her family as many parents do.

*My mom's favorite color is green and sometimes yellow

*Her favorite flower is the yellow rose

*She loves the beach, reading, hockey and basball.

*She will do anything for her family

*She cannot stand injustice and fights for what she believes in

*She is always the first one to volunteer to help when someone is in need, I cannot count the amount of times she has made food, bought clothes, given money, or her own time to help a person or family in need.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Wishing you a year full of happiness and love.

I love you.

Esther Chapter 5

Yeah it's been a while. You have most likely forgotten my "crisis of faith" post from spring break. I have not, I have thought about it a lot. I have tried to sit down and write the resolution I promised several times but it was much more difficult than I anticipated. So here goes:

Esther 5: 9 says (paraphrase) Haman was so filled with rage and anger at Mordecai that he could not enjoy anything. All of his joy, even being invited to dinner at the palace was taken just by seeing Mordecai sitting by the city gates. He knew there was no way he could enjoy the dinner and complained to his wife and friends. They gave him advice to build gallows 75 feet high and ask the king to have him hanged. Haman was so excited about this he had the gallows built immediately and got ready for his dinner happily.

During the church service I was at in Texas the pastor told us that 75 feet was high enough to literally decapitate a person - not just kill them, but mutilate them - very gruesome. The point being made is that Haman was unhappy until he was able to know there was a punishment for the person he was angry with.

This made an impact on me. I don't want to be vengeful, I don't want to be out for revenge and be unhappy until I see a person punished. That is when it all came together.

I truly believe that we are put in a place, for a specific reason and God put me in Chris Osborne's congregation for a week to learn how to forgive and to remember what being a child of God means. It comes with a responsibility. A responsibility to keep working on understanding God's will and his purpose for our lives. It's not easy but those of us who work toward that end know that it is a walk on which we will never be alone and one we will never regret.

It wasn't until Easter Sunday that I realized how far I had wandered from the unwaivering faith of years past. I am working on finding it again.

It is not all resolved but I feel better than I have in a long time about faith, religion and the way I ended my years in college ministry. It took 6 years but I got there.

Too Many Directions

Here's a quick update and then I have to roll yarn for the kids tomorrow, I know but the life of a teacher is interesting in many ways!
- I do not have a job yet, however I have an interview with a head hunting company on Thursday for private school placement.
- There are 26 days of school left and I cannot wait for it to be over
- Sarah got into UCLA so we are tres excited about that!!!!
- The kids are a bit out of control lately so that makes teaching difficult - on we go anyway.
- I get to go to Michigan soon!

Yeah, not much going on, there will be more once I have a job secured and we get an apartment rented. Until then it is stress, stress, stress.

Quit My Day Job!

My students are working on a poetry unit. It is difficult because they have to put themselves out there and at this age they aren't as willing to do that as one might think. We write all different types and forms of poems including everyone's favorite - limericks! Every year I write an ode to my students, they usually get a kick out of it and this year was no exception. One group of students decided I should quit teaching and become a poet - apparently there's more money in it :-) I don't know know about that but I did have a teacher once who said that he would never ask us to do anything he wouldn't be willing to do and I try very hard to practice that with my students so here is part of my poetry project:

Ode to My Students

Oh how smart you are-
If only you could see
The potential locked inside

I push you to your limits
Hoping to one day unlock
The vault that lies within

You talk, laugh, and pass notes
Trying your best to drown me out
But my voice will not go away

You're tired of hearing sit down, quiet down
You're well aware life's not fair
And yet it doesn't seem to sink in...

I continue to teach because I believe
In you, my students
That one day the combination
We will find
To open up your minds!

Three...Yep....Three

On our trip we got dressed up Texas style for a night of dancing at the Hullabaloo to benefit an organization that does surgery on kids with cleft pallets. It was a crazy but fun night.




All in all the trip to Texas was fantastic including the 36 hours in the car. It is a good thing my sister and I get along so well, I know some siblings who wouldn't make it 2 hours in the car let alone 4 days :-) We did have one snafu however, but what is a road trip without at least one. The great state of Texas has very conscientious Public Safety Officers who wanted to give me a reminder that the speed limit in Western Texas is 80 mph, not 83 mph as my cruise control had snuck up to at one point. Needless to say I was very thankful (yeah, thankful) for the reminder and will be ever so careful to not let that happen again in the great state of Texas if I am to travel there again (which I may not seeing how I have yet to return to Kentucky).

I Scream You Scream!

Touring the Blue Bell ice cream factory was tons of fun and the free sample helped too! Moo tracks is my favorite. I know Michiganders can't et Blue Bell, but of you ever get the chance, take it!


We hung out a lot, went on our annual cousins dinner, played with the kiddos and went to school with them! We watched several movies - I do not recommend "Michael Clayton" but "Why I got Married" Was great!

Crisis of Faith Part 1

This is part one of a series of blogs I will add over the next few days mixed in with vacation blogs. While I was in Texas I had an experience that I will not soon forget and one that I have not completely sorted out. This is something that has been 6 years in the making. I know it doesn't make sense to you yet but I beg you, stay with me, keep listening to me and please pray for me. This past week has been filled with anger, tears, and an incredible amount of eye opening for me.

Let me start from the beginning....

When I was in middle school I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart. I was at choir camp at Lake Huron Methodist Camp with friends and I couldn't stop crying during evening chapel. Having been raised in the church I knew what a momentous occasion this was. It is a vivid memory and a day that I will never forget. It was a day that changed my life, I was dedicated and I never looked back. I worked hard for God, I did volunteer work, I attended and taught Sunday school, I spent most of my free time at church, I followed the example set by those around me and I loved it. It was my path and I followed it with a glad heart.

Fast forward to January 16th, 2002. I went to work like any other day. I was working at the Wesley Foundation of Kalamazoo. I loved my job and it was like my second home because I never went home! I was a junior in college and I had it all, friends, a calling ( I wanted to attend seminary), a purpose everyday and joy in my heart. I walked into work that day and got a letter in my mailbox. It started with the words "Tearful Silence." 6 years later and I still have most of it memorized. I had to dig it out to get the date but not the words. At that moment my whole world fell out from under me. Our director, Pastor and friend was being reappointed to start a new church.

The following months were the most difficult that I have experienced. Saying goodbye, interviewing new candidates, keeping the ministry running, there was so much to do without letting on that my world was gone. So I ran away. At the time I would have told you that I believed I was called to work for God that summer and maybe I was but I ran away. I couldn't handle it. The pain was too much. The thoughts of what was to come was too much.

When I returned to a new director I told myself I trying to make it work and I was doing what had to be done. It was not my fault it didn't go well and the mistakes were his fault. He was messing up. He was making huge mistakes. He had bad sermons, he was the reason for bad turnout. I disagreed with his politics and his decisions and it was a terrible year for me. I was so angry. I was so convinced it was him. I was so angry at God. My friends agreed with me for the most part. But it was divided. I lost some good, God loving people that year that I truly miss. It didn't matter. I was right and he was wrong.

The Methodist Church was wrong to take away our friend, our leader. They made the mistake. I blamed everyone, I was filled with anger and sadness and I stopped doing my job. I still went through the motions but by January I couldn't do it. I couldn't even step foot inside the building.

Wednesday March 26, 2008 I attended the evening service at Central Baptist Church in College Station, Texas. I was not looking for anything. I was there too see Little Brick #1 sing on stage and that was it. After all it was a Baptist church, what could I possibly learn. (This is my horrible attitude regarding religion lately). How wrong I was. When I left that service I had so much to think about and pray about and a big decision to make.

The pastor had been taking the congregation through the Lord's prayer line by line each week. This week was Forgive those who have trespassed against you. He told us that we are not allowed to ask for forgiveness unless we forgive those who have wronged us first. He said much more than that but that was basically the message. I am not entitled to God's forgiveness until I forgive other people. At first I was like - ok no big deal. But then I got to thinking, have I forgiven everyone I should. My mind drifted back to the anger I still hold for the events of 6 years ago. I was still angry at the man who had come in and taken over. I was still harboring terrible feelings toward this man who I felt had wronged me and ruined what was such a happy time in my life.

After the service we sat and talked about it. I cried and got angry, I didn't want to stop being angry. He had wronged me. I had a right to be angry - didn't I? I was gently reminded my cousin and sister that I God wasn't giving me that right. Which made me sad and angry and cry more. It was a long night! I was consumed by thoughts of this. Was I really still angry? Was this a big deal? It was a lot to think about.

I will write more later and tell you how I have resolved these feelings so far. There is more to this story so please stay tuned.

Easter Sunday 2008

Texas Spring Break!!!

This was a great Easter for me. It was the first time in years that I was able to be with family. three years ago I was in the hospital and the last two years I have been here. In Yuma. Sarah was here last year but this year we were able to drive (18 long hours) to Eastern Texas and spend our Spring Intercession with our cousin and her family. Easter is such an important holiday for Christians and it is hard not to celebrate with family.

I have lots to share about our trip, it's hard to know where to start. On Easter we went to church and then had lunch with Jamee's in-laws. We then got to take a nap, changed into our play clothes and had an egg hunt, played baseball and then played a fun dice game with the grown-ups called Farkle.

We Don't Own this Night (Part Deux)

It was recently brought to my attention that I never came back to tell you the outcome of what happened after our exciting evening. At school I talked with our school resource officer and he said he would look into it even though he had this little smile on his face. The smile that told me he thought I was over reacting and should not be worrying about this - he has been on the force many years and this is pretty low on his radar but since he is my friend he looked into it for me.

The official report from the Yuma Police Department was this: On the evening in question nothing happened. No calls were made to 911 or directly to the department. No police were dispatched to the complex for any official reason and no reports have been filed since. So nothing happened. Apparently we made it up. Maybe we do own the night after all....

In the interest of wrapping up other news, my student who had run away/was missing has been found. The day after I spoke with her mother the U.S. Marshalls located the man she was with and he gave up her location. She has been reunited with her family and we will be having a meeting Monday to determine the best course of action regarding her education and return to school. None of that really matters, she is safe with her family. This is one case of many that turned out good. So many don't, the relief was so great among the staff and students, I can't imagine someone that close to me missing for any length of time. She was gone for over ten days. It turns out the man she was with was 38 years old, she is 12. Incredibly scary. Thank you for your prayers.

We Don't Own this Night

I went grocery shopping tonight. I agreed to go. I was not forced as is often the case. I am pretty gullible about it, Sarah will say "want to go to the mall?" and then on the way home we end up at Wal-Mart. This is not a joke. I really dislike the grocery store and on the way out to the car I saw a cat so I was a little distracted anyway.

So...Sarah is saying how she should have gotten a sitter for me since it was late but I was trying to be good. We did our shopping and $96 later headed for home. It was around 10 and we were just going home to finish some scrapbooking pages when all hell broke loose. As we got to our door (in our safe apartment complex, the safest in Yuma). Sarah was finding her keys, as I was irresponsible and forgot mine. I heard a noise, turned around and saw a policeman run at full speed out of a neighboring apartment with his gun drawn. I whispered to Sarah to get in the house now because something bad was happening and we ran in the house, threw the groceries and got out of the windows with the lights off.

I crawled to the living room window and peered out to see what was happening. The woman who lives in said apartment had run out after the policeman and had left her door wide open. They had run out of view so we remained in hiding. I drew the shades and we put the groceries away.

We heard lots of sirens and they stopped right at our area, Sarah saw an ambulance and cop cars pull up. I voted to walk the long way around to see what was happening but then we would still have been in the line of fire as Sarah rationally pointed out. The door has been open for sometime and a policeman just went back in and shut it tight.

We don't know what happened but we are praying for the family. A mom and her two kids live in the apartment. A small girl and late elementary aged boy. They have only been here about a month and the boy plays soccer and basketball outside our place constantly.

Helpless or Hopeless?

I mentioned in my last blog that I was looking for a new career, I'm beginning to think I wasn't kidding myself. Yesterday I started the morning dealing with contacting parents of children who have failing grades for 3rd quarter. Report cards come out next week and we, the teachers, are not allowed to give an F unless the parent has been notified. Now, keep in mind this is not the first notification that I or many of the teachers have made. Each quarter is 9 or 10 weeks long and we all send progress reports home regularly, call or send notes in the student's planner. This particular phone call should not be a surprise. But inevitably it is and the parent is upset and wants to fix it but then I have to say it is too late in the game for that. I called 9 parents yesterday and I only have 57 students.

I was disappointed by the reactions, many of the parents have given up. As long as you are not suspending their child it's OK. They can deal with the failure academically, almost as if it is expected. Report card time is always like this. Some parents freak out but, sadly, most don't care. That will become apparent next week when we have parent-teacher conferences and the numbers of parents showing up go down like they always do.

While I was having students call and telling parents of their fate I came across one student who has been in my class since the beginning of January. He has ADHD and is in charge of taking his own medication every morning, as part of "taking responsibility" for his actions. Since his arrival we have had two parent meetings, one with the counselor, one with the vice-Principal and still this child comes to class with nothing. Not a piece of paper, a pencil, nothing. Yesterday when we talked about the failing grade I asked him of he was taking his meds. He said no. Alarm bells went off in my head. I then had my attention immediately split in two. I was teaching my class and trying to figure out why a 12 year old is required to worry about the fact that his medication ran out and there is no refill for it. He had been out for 6 days.

Fast forward to lunch time. I asked an innocent question regarding a student who has ditched a couple of times to see if her absences had been excused for the past two days. I needed to call mom regarding her grade. I was told to talk to the school resource officer (the police). The officer sets me down and tells me that she is missing. Yep, one of my students ran away from home Sunday and hasn't been seen since. Evidently her 29 year old ex-boyfriend is also MIA. Now my brain is divided into 3 parts. My brain doesn't handle this new split well and I get a little cranky.

I called my mom and dad as soon as I got home and told them what had happened because I just need to hear them say it is going to be OK sometimes. My mom said "you must feel so hopeless, I mean helpless"

Yes, I do feel helpless. There is nothing I can do.

I can't take a child to the Dr. get the meds and make sure he takes them, I can't find a 12 year old run away any better than the police can and I can't make pre-teens stop having sex (we had a pregnancy scare recently also). So while I do feel helpless, I can't help but feel a little hopeless too. Next week we are having big fundraisers for an 8Th grader at school who is going through treatments for cancer and we have had 4 kids kicked out for drugs in the last month.

I know that I am a positive influence, as I was told yesterday, my heart is 18 sizes too big! But today it just hurts and hurts until I think it can't hurt anymore. I am scared and angry and have no idea what to do. These kids are not kids. They don't know how to be. When did that change? When did kids turn into little adults bringing their Starbucks to school with the grown up problems to go with it and making their own rules along the way.

I'm not so sure my mom was wrong, I do feel pretty hopeless.

Thankfully my jury duty was cancelled for today and I was able to have golf practice today which was great. It was nice to be outside and the kids were great.

Please pray for my run-away student and her family. It is a very serious situation that I can't go into detail about but each day that goes by is scarier than before.

My Crazy Life

I wish I blogged more than I do but to be honest there isn't that much happening that constitutes an entire blog so I will to a synopsis for you.

- Two weeks ago I had a disappointing evaluation from one of the VP's at school. So bad in fact it got me thinking about alternate career opportunities the upcoming job may afford me. Let's jsut say I am not qualified to do much else!

- Fast forward a week to school wide evaluation. We all get evaluated on the same day and are compared to every school in the county. No, no pressure at all. Sarah and I spent hours of our weekend preparing a lesson that would be perfect, the evaluators saw maybe the first 1/8th of it but it was great and I impressed the powers that be. unfortunately that may have been the trigger for a migraine.

- Wednesday of last week, actually walked out of my class. Abandoned my children, without even telling them I was leaving because I was so sick. I got someone to cover my 6th period and I passed out in the nurses office. No one bothered to check on me or my class for 7th period until Sarah found my kids working alone with no adult. Thank God they didn't run away or start a fire or something.

- Wednesday afternoon, got myself together long enough to have first golf practice with 40 children and then passed out until Friday. I don't remember much of Thursday, except that I woke up a couple of times to inject medication.

- Saturday got hi-lites. that was fun and cruised the mall, mostly window shopping. No work this weekend.

- Sunday we cleaned the house which was much needed after the crazy winds have brought all the desert in the house.

All of this while still getting the kids ready for AIMS and trying to keep them from getting distracted from Spring Break (9 days and counting!). Job hunt continues, lots of possibilities but still hard to narrow down with Sarah's applications pending.

I have jury duty starting Wednesday, can't wait for that ;-( I hope I get dismissed. And we are trying to get our plans straight to go to Texas to visit the Brick House for Easter. And yes to the little Bricks, we did ask our parents if we could stay over!

That's what's been going on here in the desert. I will keep you posted.

Fight Club!

For any of you that have seen the movie fight club, you know rule #1 is that you don't talk about fight club. Well that's not how Ms. Knapp plays it. Some of our kids decided to have their own version of fight club in the bathroom this week at school. Friends fighting, just to see who could beat each other up. All in all there were about 15 kids involved.

Yesterday one of our incredibly smart (note the sarcasm) 8Th graders decided to ditch and because she didn't want to get into trouble got into a car with a stranger, that's right a stranger. I don't know all of the events that played out, as I came in on the tail end but I do know that she is safe now but was missing for about 4 hours yesterday.

Sarah and I decided to go to the movies last night. We don't go very often for two reasons, it is expensive and there are bound to be students there. We sucked it up and went to the mall which has a little added pressure now because of the February 14Th fatal shooting of an eighteen year old gang member right outside the theatres. We got there early and walked around a bit, window shopping and taking in the sights. We were spotted and pointed out loudly by one group of students and were not surprised to see 2 police cruisers parked in front of the theaters and the cops doing foot patrols with mall security. It has only been two weeks but that hasn't deterred anyone from being out and about. The place was packed with teens, families, Marines, everyone. The gangs were out in force showing colors and marking territory but thankfully nothing has happened in a public place since the last incident. I think we are more aware because of our work in the schools than most people who are just out to eat and shopping.

We saw Fools Gold, it was a cute movie. I laughed, which I needed after a not so good week. I have been summonsed to jury duty so I will keep you posted on that. I guess I better get up now and get the weekend chores started.

Map

I got a map. And then I hung it on the wall. My intention is to put pins in it to represent the schools Sarah has applied to and then the ones I want to apply to. I am hoping that this visual will get me motivated. It doesn't seem quite real yet. I have told everyone that I am moving, I have signed the resignation papers at work and I have started cleaning things out to limit the items to move.

But it still didn't seem real. Thus the map. Los Angeles is big. I mean really BIG. So applying for a job has to be very strategic. I have to make sure I don't have to commute because of all the traffic problems that plague the city, I don't think I could handle that. But we also have to be close to the school that Sarah will attend and since that is still a mystery... I am plotting points on the map.

So far it is making me feel better to make little flags for my push pins. I am pretty close to having my California teaching certificate and I joined a teaching network that is advertising over one hundred jobs in the LA area. For this early in the hiring season that is tremendous. I am pretty excited to see the salary ranges too, I will be moving up quite a bit which will compensate the rent increase.

There is still plenty to be done before moving can even be discussed. I will have my final formal evaluation this week and then next Monday our school will have the last walk throughs of the year. Spring break is coming up with a trip to Texas in the works! Then the AIMS tests for the kids - a very stressful for them and us. And then a few weeks of panicked apartment hunting and job interviews before we fly home for a quick visit and say farewell to Yuma.

Right now it is off to bed, Monday is coming to soon.

The Dome

As you drive into Yuma you will see, just off the highway, this dome. At first glance it appears to be just an odd shaped building but as Sarah and I learned when we took the annual Dome House tour it is so much more.

It is a monolithic dome (which are fairly well know around the world) and is huge inside. It is incredibly eco-friendly and just plain fun. There are 8 suites, one full sized kitchen, a three story atrium and a gym/computer room. Each suite has a living area, a bedroom, a kitchenette, washer and dryer, bathroom with shower and jacuzzi tub and the two lower floors have outside entrances. The third floor has a fire escape only.

In this particular dome lives a family. A big family. There is a grandma, two sisters, their husbands, two granddaughters, one great - grandson, one fiancee and one adopted family member. The family members that we spoke to said it is almost like living in a big apartment building. They don't see each other much during the week because everyone is so busy with work and school and such. On the weekend they have one big family meal together to catch everyone up with all that's gone on. They seemed like one big happy family.

all three stories

the atrium

the ponds put moisture back into the air that the dome takes out

it's very tall!

hard to clean windows :-)

What a Week!

Last week was a week! I hope this week goes better. Part of my job is to be a child advocate. I take that very seriously, sometimes a little too seriously. The last few months one of my kids has been bullying some of the other kids. He is good friends with one of Sarah's kids. There are three of them all together who form this little gang and go around trying to start fights, picking on kids who don't fight back and generally making my life difficult.

Long story short I have spent a lot of time writing referrals, calling parents, talking to kids and administration and trying to stop these kids from making mistakes. It finally came to a head this week and we sent the two biggest bullies to our alternative placement program. They go for a minimum of 30 days, a maximum of 60 and usually 45. When the decision was made I was relieved to know that the problems would end. That my kids being bullied would no longer have to walk down the halls in fear or be constantly called horrible names.

After school I went to the office and my student who was being sent to the alternative program was waiting for his mom so my boss told me to go in and talk with him. I tried to get through to him about his choices. I was desperately trying to get him to see that he was making bad choices and that he was better than that. I was okay until he teared up. Then I teared up and then I had to leave the room.

That always happens. I get so angry at the kids who make the bad choices and work so hard to get them the consequences they deserve which I see is in their best interest and then when it actually happens I am filled with remorse and guilt. I think when it comes right down too it I feel like a failure. I couldn't fix this child. I had 6 1/2 months with him and I couldn't make it right. Now, realistically I know you can't undo 12 years in a few months but it still feels like failure.

I know that tomorrow I will go to work, see that empty desk and feel sadness. But I know that I am still a child advocate and I couldn't change those circumstances but there are still 57 kids and many more months to go. So I choose to be optimistic.

I am in a cycle again. I was doing really well for a while with the migraines and it seems like jsut when I get comfortable with everything something happens. I got sick in August and had a sinus infection which somehow set off my blood pressure medicine. This has turned into a downward spiral I can't seem to get out of. I can no longer take the blood pressure meds therefore I am getting headaches again. A lot. It sucks (sorry mom, I know you don't like that word). The docs in chicago are trying to help but it is a cycle I can feel it. Sometimes they last for months with no explanations. I am trying hard to keep going. I know I complain to Sarah too much but thankfully she just pats me on the head and tells me to go to bed. I am trying to stay active though because if I don't they get worse. Today even though I skipped the gym I did a walk around the block and made dinner.

I was proud of my kids today. We had our second quarter spell off between Sarah's kids and mine and even though we lost 2 - 1 my kids tried so hard and lasted a long time, it was great. They really got into it this time and focused on actually spelling instead of worrying about winning. They have hit the mid-year grow up stage. It is such a neat age to see them blossom at. Keep in mind that while I write this today, tomorrow will be a whole different story!

Lasagna is a Success!

One of my new year resolutions was to learn how to cook correctly. I have been making dinner more regularly and working on small things but tonight was the big recipe. Sarah and I picked out a new recipe. Chicken and spinach lasagna. We went to the store and got all the ingredients we needed. Then we came home, put it all together and in true new recipe fashion ate it three hours later. But it was fantastic! We loved it and it was so pretty, pretty as a picture. On to the next new recipe.

One Two Cha Cha Cha

I am going through a phase, at least I hope it is a phase. I seem to be taking one step forward and two steps backward in everything. Much like the Cha Cha! It all started when I went back to work last week, I told myself things were going to be different, this was it, the big year. I was starting the big job hunt and this time I was writing the ticket - not settling for the first offer. I was going to pay down some debt, I was going to lose the weight I had put back on. Mostly so my interview suit would fit correctly again :-) Things went well for about 8 hours.

As I am prone to anxiety and depression I always have to check myself and say, "self, is it really this bad or are you making it worse than it has to be" Unfortunately this time I wasn't the problem. I seemed to have run into this streak of bad luck and can't get out. A friend passed away, I got stuck on the way home one night because my tire was shredded (money!), the kids ae acting out, my checkbooks in the red, I actually woke up yesterday at the time I was supposed to be at work, I have a sweet tooth that won't quit and my headaches are back pretty full force.

I know I am whining a bit but it's my blog after all so sorry. While all this is going on I am trying to plan several trips and spend time with friends and get my kids excited about a novel and find my dream teaching job - all happy things but the other stuff keeps getting in the way.

I don't know why but I thought once I got back into reading the Bible and focusing on God things would get better. Maybe I was expecting a miracle, I don't know. I guess I fell into the trap of asking God for what I wanted instead listening to what God wants for me. I know the difference, I have taught it to others many times but with faith it is always about learning and relearning. Baby steps.

Tomorrow I start again. Baby steps. I will start with a positive attitude and
try not to let the negatives in. I know for some people it is easy to do that. For me having a predisposition to the depression stuff I tend to be more of a pessimist and I don't like using that as an excuse but when it comes right down to it there is a chemical imbalance in my brain that I struggle with on a daily basis. The hardest part is knowing that as much as I struggle with those close to me also have to struggle with it.

Please pray for me. And hope this really is just a phase.

Sadness

This was going to be a blog about my day. I was going to tell you that I had to get up extra early to go to work because I didn't really know what I was going to have the kids do. Then I was going to complain about how I had to get used to not going to the bathroom whenever I wanted and how easy it was to forget that pre-teens talk A LOT! Then there was this letter about me boycotting my department meetings for the rest of the year because of the person in charge (which my boss took extremely well). Basically I was going to complain about my day.

Instead I want to share with you that when we came home from work there was a message that a college friend, Kyle Sonneman, had passed away on Saturday. We don't know any details really. Only that it was unexpected and that there is a service on Wednesday in Traverse City. Kyle was a youth pastor, he moved to Traverse City shortly before I moved to Yuma. He was a very funny guy, loved to make everyone laugh and always wanted to have parties!

Suddenly all the other stuff went away, like it always does when I need to be centered. God has this amazing way of shifting priorities around to his way. I had started to depend less and less on that but now that I am back in the Word daily my memory is less and less fuzzy. I am starting to feel centered again.

Kyle had a passion for Christ and he attracted others with his warmth and kindness. His calling was a perfect fit as he was a big kid at heart. Kyle - I will miss you.

Count Down!

This is the count down, a few more months in Yuma and on to the next adventure. I said when I came I wold stay three years and I am not staying one day extra! I have met some incredible people here and have learned tons about teaching but I am ready to move to a city with more than 4 restaurants and 5 stores!

More to come later but right now I have to get up and unpack from the three weeks of being in the arctic otherwise known as Michigan and get ready to see Arcy, the massage therapist to beat all!

One More Sleep

Only one more sleep til the big day! We here at the Knapp house are ready to go. Which is a surprising turn of events this year. It has only taken 27 years that I know of to get everything to a science to enjoy this day of expectation. Which is why I can sit, lazily drinking cocoa, telling you about my time in the mitten state.

We arrived in the great 2007 snow storm and had a snow day the first Sunday here which meant no Knapp Christmas :-( but a great day to relax and get the Christmas cards written. Monday was playing elf as was Tuesday. Wednesday brought the flu for me and bed all day. Thursday mom, Sarah and I headed for the windy city and had a nice dinner with cousin John. We took in an evening showing of the Broadway show Wicked - phenomenal!

Friday I had a check-up at the Diamond Headache Clinic, I am going back on blood pressure medicine which makes me dizzy so we will see how long that lasts but other than that they will see me in six months. We picked up John, had a nice lunch at the Weber Grill and made the long trek home (John goes to Columbia College and we were his ride home for Christmas).

Saturday I was still not feeling great so I laid low, there was busyness going on around me but everyone has been low key.

Sunday we lit the advent candle at church and saw many friends that we only see a couple times a year. The snow has melted but the wind has come in strong and is not going anywhere.

Now it is Christmas Eve morning. The time has flown, I am so thankful to be feeling better. I am having dinner with one set of grandparents today and a great-grandmother and then tomorrow will be another family. The Knapp family Christmas has been rescheduled, weather permitting, to New Year's Day.

May you all have a wonderful, love filled Christmas day and welcome the baby Jesus in style!

First Step

Admitting you have a problem is the first step, or at least it is at AA. I am not sure if it qualifies for everything. Yesterday I had to admit that I have a problem. I am not going to be able to save all of the students I have had, have and will have in the future. I have been pretending that I could all this time. Well, maybe not pretending. I have been doing my best. I have worked hours past my salaried time, worried constantly, called parents and counselors, written letter after letter, and yesterday I went on my first home visit.

As I went back to school after talking with the mom and student I did some heavy thinking and realized that I have been trying to save them all. All of this is to say that I am really considering going to a prep school next year instead of a public school. I am so exhausted that I fell asleep with a bad migraine at 8:15 and slept until 8 this morning. I was so out of it last night I fell asleep in Sarah's bed (the small one) and she couldn't get me to move.

So I think after this year I am going to take a break from saving all the children I come into contact with and take a less stressful gig if that's possible.

Anyway, at least I have admitted I have a problem. Now when I go over board I can name the reason why :-)

Holiday Preparations

I have been trying not to get too excited about the holiday's yet, it seems a little early, not even being Thanksgiving yet. But I have given in. Yep, I'm in. All in. Let's do Christmas :-) We are elbow deep in Christmas cards, so everyone should be expecting wonderful creations from us this year!

I am making Christmas CD's for the kids to listen to for the next three weeks and we started designing posters for the door decorating contest today. There is tons of Christmas shopping being done online and shipped to Michigan for the big day and lots of secret phone calls that leave one of us whispering or e-mailing and frantically shouting "don't read my e-mail!"

Yep, we are all in for Christmas and don't forget the carols Sarah has been playing all weekend to get me in the mood to make the cards.

Christmas has come early to Yuma this year and we are making the most of it so Happy Holidays everyone!

Constantly Learning

I am always learning new things in my profession. I haven't written about teaching in a while because there have been so many other things going on with my health and vacation and now Christmas fast approaching. But this week I made an improvement in an area of my job. Parent contact. Those of you who have ever had to do this especially for the not so good reasons or have been on the receiving end of a call know just how awkward it can be.

Parents can be stand-offish, they can yell at you, they get pissed off, they blame you and my favorite - the ones that just say ok, ok, thank you. And nothing. Sometimes the parents are more of a battle than the students which is why we teachers hate calling. we threaten a lot but we hate following through.

I made a list this week and just started dialing. I got a couple of disconnected numbers, a couple of not homes, one mom who was wonderful and talked for almost 40 minutes (I love her!) And I had to have two calls made for me in Spanish. One is coming in for a conference and the other came in and withdrew her child the next day because evidently taking her child to another school will fix the problem.

Yes to all parents reading this: The teachers are the problem. We spend all day picking on your children and thinking up things to call you about just to bother with at home on our breaks.

Regardless of all this I realized that I didn't learn how to do this in school, college can't teach you how to toughen up when calling parents or to be relentless when trying to find a phone number and not give up calling until you are satisfied. To not take it personally when that student withdraws because you picked on him.

I made those calls to benefit my kids and I it wasn't easy, I still get that weird feeling in my stomach and will for a while but I was proud of myself for sticking to my principles an following through this week.

The San Francisco Treat

The idea of going to SFC appealed to me because I like to travel, I had read a little of the guide book and knew about the Golden Gate Bridge and Lombard Street and that it was the birth place of Lee jeans. But really that was the extent of my knowledge of the place. I intended to be very dependent on Susie and Sarah for tour guiding. We all know what happens to the best laid plans...

We picked Sus up at the airport in Las Vegas and headed west for 9 hours. It turned out not to be a long trip as we all had lots to talk about, naps to take, Harry Potter on CD and music galore. It was by far one of the best road trips ever and I have been on quite a few. After settling into the Hostel (quite a deal by the way) we found some food and decided to call it a night after the long car ride. Sarah and I were sharing what was comparable to a twin and a half bed (I like to think the same size as beds at Shrute Farms!) so I noticed when she half rolled on me to get up around 3 and was sick. Very sick. She was still sick the next day so Susie and braved the big city on our own.

We had a good time, took a tour of Boudin's sourdough bread company, who knew sourdough bread can really only be made in SFC? I didn't. Or that Cosmopolitans and popsicles originated there! There is so much history in the city, it was incredible. We also saw Pier 39 which is famous for sea lions. Susie said we were going to see sea lions. I was not sure exactly what to expect but by golly there were hundreds of them, loud and stinky and adorable! They moved into the pier after the earthquake and never left, now it is a huge tourist attraction.

Monday we visited Alcatraz for an incredible tour and lots of souveniers for my kids. Sarah was feeling better so she got to go on the tour too but she got sick again in the afternoon so it was back to bed while Sus and trekked all over Union district. I know we all see the hills on TV but let me just tell you, they are not enhanced for dramatic effect, they are amazing and incredibly difficult to walk up!

Tuesday Sarah was feeling more like her old self so we took her to the Exploratorium, a hands on science museum and across the Golden Gate Bridge. It was very cold so we did not walk it like we had planned. I think we got the better end of the deal judging by the way the bikers and walkers look. I was the designated driver with Sarah out of commission so I drove us down Lombard Street and I parallel parked on one of those crazy hills, no small feat for me. Just the parallel parking is challenge most of the time :-)

Wednesday we loaded Sarah up with motion sickness medicine, and headed back to Vegas early in the morning. That evening we checked into the luxurious Bellagion Hotel and Casino for two nights of fun for Sarah's 30th birthday. We started the fun immediately and never stopped. We shopped, ate, drank, danced and celebrated the big day in style!

Friday morning, Sus caught her flight home and we headed out, stopping in Lake Havaseu to see the London Bridge before making the last leg of the trip home.

On our shopping excursion I bought a Macbook so I can say goodbye to the desktop that drives me crazy and only half works. So now I am a Mac and Sarah is a PC, we want to do a commercial!

All too soon we had to return to our regular lives, but it is never boring!

Las Vegas Part 1

After leaving the Grand Canyon, we retraced our steps to Las Vegas and checked into Bally's for the week. It was a good week, we saw many of the sights, shows and ate at some very fine restaurants. Here is a synopsis of the Strip:

$ Shows - We were able to see Blue Man Group which was fabulous and I am not sure why, but it was. It is hard to explain but it is a must see if you ever get the chance! We also had great seats to "o" - the Cirque de Soleil water show. It was phenomenal, and fun to get all dressed up for. One night we went to a dueling piano bar at the Paris casino with some highly talented musicians.

$ Restaurants - I have been to Vegas on several other occasions but never have I had the opportunity to sample the fine cuisine the city has to offer. We went to some very nice restaurants and ate food that I didn't know could taste so good! If you are going let me know and I can steer you in the right direction for some tasty cuisine. My personal favorite was the dessert at Bellagio Buffet.

$ Miscellaneous Adventures - The girls tried out the Bally's spa complete with massages, hot tubs, showers and a vanity area to do your own hair and make-up while dad tried out some different casino slots. We found a small shoe store off the beaten path that catered to hard to find sizes and got mom some nice work shoes that she loves! We had about 15 fireman outside our hotel room one morning and the alarm went off for about an hour but they wouldn't let us leave. I had a minor panic attack and even with the earplugs in almost attempted to climb out the window! I also dislocated my thumb somehow, that was painful for a few hours. Dad got to get his picture taken with Pete Rose, which I thought was really cool until he told me that he is more infamous than famous but oh well, I guess a celebrity is a celebrity!

It was an incredible week and another vacation for the Knapp hall of fame, our vacations are never boring that's for sure!

The Wild West

As most of you know Sarah and I went on a crazy, whirlwind vacation for our two week intercession, we traveled just over 2200 miles in the car and saw some amazing things. I am going to start at the beginning, a very good place to start. Believe it or not this is the first opportunity I have felt I have had enough time to sit and give you a good accounting of what a marvelous time I had and all the things I saw.

We left Yuma on Friday afternoon (October 5th) in a dust storm. I drove us to Las Vegas to meet up with mom and dad. Mom was asleep, though very happy to see us through her eyelids! The time change is a killer! We spent the night at the Golden Nugget Casino on Freemont Street in downtown Las Vegas so they could see the light show. We hadn't made it in in time because of parent teacher conferences. The next morning we got up an checked out early as we were headed for the Grand Canyon.

This is something I had vowed to see before moving out of Arizona and as my time here is coming to a close it was time to make the drive. It is about a 5 hour drive from Las Vegas. It was a good time for us to catch up and talk in person. We got the National Park around 5 in the afternoon, checked into the hotel, and headed to the Canyon. I am not sure what I was expecting but I got a whole lot more. If you haven't been there, it sounds weird to say that people come from all over the world to stand and stare at a big canyon but that's what you do.

We just stood there. Staring. It's amazing. I could use a bunch of fancy adjectives as I am an accomplished English teacher but it won't make it any more real. It's big, and different colors and amazing. It's almost like you go into a trance and then everyone has to take 500 pictures, We did and we had 3 cameras going at once. That was just the first day and we only stayed for an hour because it was freezing. I had my winter coat on and gloves and I thought for sure I was going to die from hypothermia in that hour. So back to the hotel and then we went to the local IMAX to watch the movie of the Grand Canyon, much warmer!

The next day dawned warmer and we spent the whole day exploring the south rim of the park. It was very exciting, we saw elk and more rock and had lunch looking at the rock and then we went into a tower to look at the rock from above and then we watched the sunset over the rock. I know this sounds like it might get a little boring but believe me it was worth every second and every photograph. I will attach a couple for you to get the idea. Overall, I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to visit such a marvelous place and see a place that has remained untouched by technology and development and still has the wild west feeling. I do believe it was the highlight of the trip. But remember this was only stop 1. Check back
for Stop 2!

There's a lot going on in my head right now. I want to blog, to catch you up on my life and tell you everything that has been going. Except that I can't seem to get it out right now. All the words are stuck somewhere between the brain and the fingers. Here's a few things that are going on and I will fill in the rest later:

* I have an appointment at the Yuma Sleep Clinic Wednesday to see if I have sleep apnea, which can cause migraines, it is a long shot but I am up for anything these days.

* I have a new mysterious pain in my leg but I am pretending it isn't there and hoping it will just dissipate on it's own after a while. It is the knee I had surgery on so it is nerve-wracking.

* I get to go on a huge vacation over the next two weeks and I can't wait!!!! San Francisco, Vegas and the Grand Canyon - Life is Good!

* My students are wonderful, I love them and I couldn't have asked for a better group this year, they are working so hard, they are already so mature it's amazing.

* I read a whole book this weekend! An adult novel called Sammy's Hill - if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. Sarah and I both thoroughly enjoyed it which rarely happens when it comes to fiction.

* My bonus came last Friday which was such a blessing, I was able to pay my bills and actually have some money for the trip. We only get one bonus a year and it was perfect timing.

* A million things to do at work and the mail order prescription company lost my meds AGAIN!!!!

* I had a panic/anxiety attack last week and one over the weekend. The triggers are not for sure but I have a pretty good idea of the cause and I am taking steps to remedy the situation. I am so fortunate to have Sarah, she is so helpful and calm and understanding when I get all worked up.

I have to go, my mind is going ten ways if it is going one, hope everyone is having a good week!