I am on vacation. I like vacation, I don't like going on vacation but I like being there. The getting there part is stressful for me. I hate packing, taking too much, not enough, forgetting things, leaving your house for a while. It is all difficult for people on some level, for people like me it is very difficult. I get very anxious and tend to just put off packing and then just throw some stuff in and hope it works. So far so good.
We arrived safe and sound in Chicago and had a good appointment with Dr. Merle Diamond. She has been such a huge help these past few years and it is sad to say goodbye to her and the clinic but like she said, they are there if I need them. She recommenced a great doc in L.A. and is confident I will thrive in my new surroundings. I am glad someone is!
Now we are in Howell, have been for almost a week and have settled i nicely. I have done some gardening, reading, lots of sleeping and visited with friends and relatives. Mostly just tried to relax and take it easy. Although there was a gardening incident and I ended up walking like I was 95 years old for a few days because I couldn't bed over but I am on the mend now. Always something with me!
Today we are going to Kalamazoo to visit our friend Leslie who is having a baby next week, her second. It will be fun to see the town. It is weird though that we really don't know that many people there anymore.
It has been hard for me to relax with the no job thing hanging over my head. I have been searching the Internet as often as possible and trying to apply for as much as possible. I know I am doing all that I can and I have been talking to God about it a lot but my brain is having a hard time connecting to the trust that my heart has right now (not sure if that makes sense).
The house still seems kind of empty without brownie. Christmas was really busy so it was different but now, in the quiet moments of reading or just sitting with the windows open I look for her. I just expect her to come walking downstairs and jump up on the chair. Monday was the one year anniversary of the day we took her to the vet. We all still miss her very much, I know someday I want to have a kitty that has a permanent place in my life like Brownie did for me growing up.
My favorite thing about being home so far has been fishing. I haven't actually been fishing but we have taken to walking around the lake in the morning and there are always people fishing. It reminds me of when I was little and we would go up and fish there too. Right there in the cemetery. I loved to fish, my mom says that I would sit for long periods of time, quietly, just holding the pole and waiting. Which was quite a feat for me. The only times I was quiet as a child were when I was fishing and when I was in the time out chair.
The other morning I saw a young boy reel in a fish with his grandfather helping him. Please, have no delusions, these are teeny fish, that no one will eat. But it reminded me of fishing with my grandpa MacDonald on vacation one year at a cabin up north where we caught sunfish, it is the only time I can actually remember eating fish!
I hope everyone is enjoying their summers so far!!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Things I Have Learned
My days here in Yuma are numbered as we are getting packed and ready to fly to Michigan and then the big move to Hollywood. No, I do not have a job yet and yes, I am alright with that. That's not what this blog is about. This blog is about my life over the last three years. I am going to make another list. Lists are really my forte. Sarah is the prose expert, I prefer the quick, to the point, no extra words needed, list format. So here are some things that living in Yuma, Arizona has taught me.
* The Mexican border is very different than the Canadian border
* Spanish is difficult to learn but you can get buy with a few basics including "I don't speak Spanish" "One moment please" "Hello" "Thank You" and being a teacher, knowing the cuss words helps too ;-)
* The world is bigger than I ever thought possible and my problems are very small compared to others.
* Authentic Mexican food is very different than fast food Mexican
* No teacher training program in the world could have prepared me for what I walked into at Crane Middle School.
* I love 7th graders, every hormone crazy, hyper-active, rule breaking, gangster and gangster-wannabe one of them.
* Trust yourself first. Always.
* Don't ever trust a 7th grader or the parent of one. Believe that they are trying and give them the benefit of the doubt but don't ever fully trust them.
* The pain of seeing someone you have spent time on, given part of yourself to, led away in handcuffs is very overwhelming and incredibly disappointing. Every time I have had a student arrested I have felt like I somehow let him or her down. True or not, that feeling takes a long time to go away.
* Find out quickly who you can trust and who you can't, it is surprisingly easy to do.
* Make friends with the cafeteria coordinator. Patti was a lifesaver to me on more than one occasion!
* Never be afraid to go to your boss - it is their job to take care of things. I have grown very bold in that area. I am known for busting into my boss' office and bringing things to her attention that otherwise would go overlooked because no one else would speak up.
* ASK. I have had to learn to ask for everything. No one gives you anything in education, if you want it ask for it, the worst they can say is no and they rarely do because people don't ask.
* The government has a terrible way of deporting people, I have seen it in person and it makes me sick.
* Military spouses are the strongest people I have ever met, ever. Even stronger than their spouses serving. Please don't take that wrong but I have seen the ugly, close up side of both worlds and it's not pretty. The toll that a tour of duty takes on people left behind is almost unbearable. It is not just the tour of duty either, the time away from families that being stationed here in the U.S. takes is just as bad and can be just as dangerous as serving over seas.
* Living alone is incredibly scary.
* Timezones are tricky to figure out, even if you have taken college math.
* Family is the most important thing in the world.
* Teaching full-time is more difficult than anyone can tell you it is going to be in college.
* Watching someone gets pantsed is not as fun now as it was as a 7th grader (everyone say eewwww).
* Indian food is good, sushi is not.
* 120 degrees is too hot for anyone, anywhere.
* Seat belts burn, badly, when it is over 105 degrees out.
* Dust storms are worse than rain storms because if you left your window open you have a whole house to clean.
* Shopping after a bad day is not a good idea but it makes you feel a whole lot better!
* Having a queen size bed is the best grown up decision I have made yet.
* Yuma, Arizona houses some of the kindest, most helpful, bravest, loving people I have ever met and will not soon forget.
This is not it, I could go on for days but then you would get bored, (if you even made it to the bottom!) I have enjoyed much of my time here, met incredible people and become a better teacher. There have been down days too, when I have wanted nothing more than to get on a plane and fly home as fast as I could. Lucky for me plane tickets are expensive and I don't make much money! To all my Yuman friends - I love you and will miss you. To those back home - See you next week and I hope it is cooler there than here!
* The Mexican border is very different than the Canadian border
* Spanish is difficult to learn but you can get buy with a few basics including "I don't speak Spanish" "One moment please" "Hello" "Thank You" and being a teacher, knowing the cuss words helps too ;-)
* The world is bigger than I ever thought possible and my problems are very small compared to others.
* Authentic Mexican food is very different than fast food Mexican
* No teacher training program in the world could have prepared me for what I walked into at Crane Middle School.
* I love 7th graders, every hormone crazy, hyper-active, rule breaking, gangster and gangster-wannabe one of them.
* Trust yourself first. Always.
* Don't ever trust a 7th grader or the parent of one. Believe that they are trying and give them the benefit of the doubt but don't ever fully trust them.
* The pain of seeing someone you have spent time on, given part of yourself to, led away in handcuffs is very overwhelming and incredibly disappointing. Every time I have had a student arrested I have felt like I somehow let him or her down. True or not, that feeling takes a long time to go away.
* Find out quickly who you can trust and who you can't, it is surprisingly easy to do.
* Make friends with the cafeteria coordinator. Patti was a lifesaver to me on more than one occasion!
* Never be afraid to go to your boss - it is their job to take care of things. I have grown very bold in that area. I am known for busting into my boss' office and bringing things to her attention that otherwise would go overlooked because no one else would speak up.
* ASK. I have had to learn to ask for everything. No one gives you anything in education, if you want it ask for it, the worst they can say is no and they rarely do because people don't ask.
* The government has a terrible way of deporting people, I have seen it in person and it makes me sick.
* Military spouses are the strongest people I have ever met, ever. Even stronger than their spouses serving. Please don't take that wrong but I have seen the ugly, close up side of both worlds and it's not pretty. The toll that a tour of duty takes on people left behind is almost unbearable. It is not just the tour of duty either, the time away from families that being stationed here in the U.S. takes is just as bad and can be just as dangerous as serving over seas.
* Living alone is incredibly scary.
* Timezones are tricky to figure out, even if you have taken college math.
* Family is the most important thing in the world.
* Teaching full-time is more difficult than anyone can tell you it is going to be in college.
* Watching someone gets pantsed is not as fun now as it was as a 7th grader (everyone say eewwww).
* Indian food is good, sushi is not.
* 120 degrees is too hot for anyone, anywhere.
* Seat belts burn, badly, when it is over 105 degrees out.
* Dust storms are worse than rain storms because if you left your window open you have a whole house to clean.
* Shopping after a bad day is not a good idea but it makes you feel a whole lot better!
* Having a queen size bed is the best grown up decision I have made yet.
* Yuma, Arizona houses some of the kindest, most helpful, bravest, loving people I have ever met and will not soon forget.
This is not it, I could go on for days but then you would get bored, (if you even made it to the bottom!) I have enjoyed much of my time here, met incredible people and become a better teacher. There have been down days too, when I have wanted nothing more than to get on a plane and fly home as fast as I could. Lucky for me plane tickets are expensive and I don't make much money! To all my Yuman friends - I love you and will miss you. To those back home - See you next week and I hope it is cooler there than here!
Next stop Hollywood Baby!
Happy Fathers Day Dad!
For 30 years Tom Knapp has been a father, a good one and here's why:
- He taught me how to play golf
- He let me follow him around outside and in the garage
- We built an airplane out of wood, from scratch, together once and he let me paint it hot pink!
- He and my grandpa built us a 2-story play house because we didn't have a tree for a tree house - Whenever we are in the car together alone he asks me what I want to do with my life and where I think I will end up. He's been asking since I can remember
- We have had lengthy discussions on what we will do when we win the lottery
- Everything is a we with him, never and I
- He has been known to sit in a mall for three or more hours waiting for us to shop and never said a word other than - did you find anything?
- He loves to talk to Sarah and I on the phone, about anything
- I can't think of one thing I have ever asked him to do that he has said no to
- He spanked me (good discipline is important in being a good parent!)
- He only yells when truly necessary
- He cries without apology or shame
- He loves to read and was a great role model for me because I love to read also
- He is great at crossword puzzles and trivia
- The only things he can't remember are the the things he was out of the country for ;-)
- He hides presents, really well
- He loves his job and always was able to take time off for school stuff when I was younger
- He kills big bugs and spiders
- He listens to me cry and always tries to make it better
- He drove an un-airconditioned u-haul across the country while I flew so I could have my stuff when I moved and he is going to do it again!
There is so much more, so many memories and times that my father has sacrificed his wants and needs to put mine or Sarah's first. Living with 3 girls for 30 years could not have been easy but he has done it with love and kindness and even though I am not in his presence today I know that my dad knows he is loved and thought of often.
- He taught me how to play golf
- He let me follow him around outside and in the garage
- We built an airplane out of wood, from scratch, together once and he let me paint it hot pink!
- He and my grandpa built us a 2-story play house because we didn't have a tree for a tree house - Whenever we are in the car together alone he asks me what I want to do with my life and where I think I will end up. He's been asking since I can remember
- We have had lengthy discussions on what we will do when we win the lottery
- Everything is a we with him, never and I
- He has been known to sit in a mall for three or more hours waiting for us to shop and never said a word other than - did you find anything?
- He loves to talk to Sarah and I on the phone, about anything
- I can't think of one thing I have ever asked him to do that he has said no to
- He spanked me (good discipline is important in being a good parent!)
- He only yells when truly necessary
- He cries without apology or shame
- He loves to read and was a great role model for me because I love to read also
- He is great at crossword puzzles and trivia
- The only things he can't remember are the the things he was out of the country for ;-)
- He hides presents, really well
- He loves his job and always was able to take time off for school stuff when I was younger
- He kills big bugs and spiders
- He listens to me cry and always tries to make it better
- He drove an un-airconditioned u-haul across the country while I flew so I could have my stuff when I moved and he is going to do it again!
There is so much more, so many memories and times that my father has sacrificed his wants and needs to put mine or Sarah's first. Living with 3 girls for 30 years could not have been easy but he has done it with love and kindness and even though I am not in his presence today I know that my dad knows he is loved and thought of often.
Happy Fathers day!
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Bittersweet
Three years ago I wouldn't have been able to say this but today I say it and mean it with my whole heart, I am sad to leave Yuma. YES, the afore mentioned surface of the sun, cockroach infested, 50th in the nation for public schools, 2000 miles from any family Yuma Arizona.
Last night we had a big bash at Lutes Casino (not a real casino) - the whole gang and some extras came out, the group thinned and we went to a an actual casino to see some of our co-workers band play. Shannon (moved to Tucson last year) stayed over and we spent all day today together, eating out, packing my classroom and watching movies. It was a good way to end the school year. We have 4 more actual school days and then we're out.
My room is mostly packed up I will finish tomorrow and be all out Thursday. It is hard for me to pack it all up and leave. It was my first school, my first career job, and my big move away from home. I only teared up twice today but I am sure there will be actual tears before the week is out. I am planning a blog before we move of moments to remember so I am collecting thoughts for that but it won't be for a while (I know you are all waiting anxiously. )
On a more focused notice, I am feeling better. I am so thankful to have the best doctors in the world working with me and on call when I need them. The stumbling block is going to be to find someone to replace my massage therapist in LA, Arcy is the best ever and I don't know if someone can match what she does.
I have been researching neurologists online in LA and it looks really promising. I am going to visit some before school starts and pick one out that I like. It sounds good to say that. I get to pick one instead of having to go to the only one in town!
Back to my fun weekend with Shannon!!!!
Last night we had a big bash at Lutes Casino (not a real casino) - the whole gang and some extras came out, the group thinned and we went to a an actual casino to see some of our co-workers band play. Shannon (moved to Tucson last year) stayed over and we spent all day today together, eating out, packing my classroom and watching movies. It was a good way to end the school year. We have 4 more actual school days and then we're out.
My room is mostly packed up I will finish tomorrow and be all out Thursday. It is hard for me to pack it all up and leave. It was my first school, my first career job, and my big move away from home. I only teared up twice today but I am sure there will be actual tears before the week is out. I am planning a blog before we move of moments to remember so I am collecting thoughts for that but it won't be for a while (I know you are all waiting anxiously. )
On a more focused notice, I am feeling better. I am so thankful to have the best doctors in the world working with me and on call when I need them. The stumbling block is going to be to find someone to replace my massage therapist in LA, Arcy is the best ever and I don't know if someone can match what she does.
I have been researching neurologists online in LA and it looks really promising. I am going to visit some before school starts and pick one out that I like. It sounds good to say that. I get to pick one instead of having to go to the only one in town!
Back to my fun weekend with Shannon!!!!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Long Time
It's been a while I know but life has taken over again, here's the lowdown on the last month.
- I had the stomach flu for four days: yuck!
- I have had some pretty fierce migraines (I have been home for two days avoiding the noise)
- I am trying to be patient, waiting for contract offers, it is hard to be patient with your future
- My parents celebrated their 35Th wedding anniversary this week by taking a long weekend away and we (Sarah, Julia and I) were able to surprise them with amenities in their hotel room!
- School ends next Thursday - bittersweet to leave my friends after three years but on to new adventures!
- The Mary Kay business has really taken off the last couple of weeks! I am going to stick it out for a while and see if I can't keep it up for some side cash in the future.
I know it doesn't seem like a lot but life has been incredibly hectic lately and being under the weather hasn't helped. I can't wait for summer vacation!!!!
What's new with everyone else?
- I had the stomach flu for four days: yuck!
- I have had some pretty fierce migraines (I have been home for two days avoiding the noise)
- I am trying to be patient, waiting for contract offers, it is hard to be patient with your future
- My parents celebrated their 35Th wedding anniversary this week by taking a long weekend away and we (Sarah, Julia and I) were able to surprise them with amenities in their hotel room!
- School ends next Thursday - bittersweet to leave my friends after three years but on to new adventures!
- The Mary Kay business has really taken off the last couple of weeks! I am going to stick it out for a while and see if I can't keep it up for some side cash in the future.
I know it doesn't seem like a lot but life has been incredibly hectic lately and being under the weather hasn't helped. I can't wait for summer vacation!!!!
What's new with everyone else?
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