I have to get my car taken care of this week. I like my car and I want to keep it nice but in this heat there is no motivation to go outside. I need an oil change bad, please no one ask me how long it has been. And it needs a rub down inside and out with vacuuming. I put this on my to do list last night before bed and it must have got in to my subconscious because I dreamed that I was at the quarter car was and the quarters would not go into the slot. Then I saw a space above the stall and there were kids in it. The kids were stealing the money from the car wash. I called them a not so nice name and they ran off.
It was very strange, I thought I would share and should probably go get busy on the car.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Hunting Trip
I am exhausted. After two weeks of doing well, mostly nothing, I went on a hunting trip. Fortunately for me it did not involve guns. Sarah and I went to L.A. to look at apartments and I had a job interview, yippee! We left Saturday morning and I drove the five hours up to the city. We found our hotel very easily thanks to the nice lady on the phone. I think she is a computer but she is very helpful just the same.
If you refer to Sarah's blog you can read all about our excursions in the city, I won't bore you with repeating all the details, I will say this. LA is big, very big but the more we drove around, I did get used to it some and I feel better about the move now.
I ended up having two interviews, I got a call Sunday evening to set up a second one in the valley for Monday afternoon. Here's what happened:
Interview #1 - Jewish day school 5th grade position. I am not, nor will I ever be Jewish. I am not from West LA. Two strikes against me in the eyes of the interviewer. She spent the whole time telling me why I wasn't qualified and at one point asked if the public schools were hiring. I left feeling pretty beat down and insulted. Knowing I had no hope of being hired. I was upset because we had spent so much time and money to be in town for the interview.
Interview #2 - Jewish day school 5th grade position. The Head of School was very nice, she was excited to meet me and learn about ME. She had no problem with me not being Jewish and I totally tattled on interviewer #1, she was appalled! I am hoping for an offer from this one by next week, she asked me to call her if I got any other offers this week. I didn't tell her the chances of that were very small!
Encino seems like a good fit for us, we can be Valley girls! It is not too far from UCLA and a little (I stress little) calmer than the city.
Anyway, what will be will be. We are both exhausted from the three day hunting experience but are closer to housing and jobs so that is a good sign. So far my favorite thing about LA is that there is frozen yogurt at every corner!!!!!!
If you refer to Sarah's blog you can read all about our excursions in the city, I won't bore you with repeating all the details, I will say this. LA is big, very big but the more we drove around, I did get used to it some and I feel better about the move now.
I ended up having two interviews, I got a call Sunday evening to set up a second one in the valley for Monday afternoon. Here's what happened:
Interview #1 - Jewish day school 5th grade position. I am not, nor will I ever be Jewish. I am not from West LA. Two strikes against me in the eyes of the interviewer. She spent the whole time telling me why I wasn't qualified and at one point asked if the public schools were hiring. I left feeling pretty beat down and insulted. Knowing I had no hope of being hired. I was upset because we had spent so much time and money to be in town for the interview.
Interview #2 - Jewish day school 5th grade position. The Head of School was very nice, she was excited to meet me and learn about ME. She had no problem with me not being Jewish and I totally tattled on interviewer #1, she was appalled! I am hoping for an offer from this one by next week, she asked me to call her if I got any other offers this week. I didn't tell her the chances of that were very small!
Encino seems like a good fit for us, we can be Valley girls! It is not too far from UCLA and a little (I stress little) calmer than the city.
Anyway, what will be will be. We are both exhausted from the three day hunting experience but are closer to housing and jobs so that is a good sign. So far my favorite thing about LA is that there is frozen yogurt at every corner!!!!!!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Fear Be Gone
I made a decision tonight, a big one. I decided that starting right now (well about 30 minutes ago) I am not going to give in to the fear anymore. Fear is a waste of time. At least in this instance because I have nothing to be afraid of, yet. I don't have a job to worry about, an apartment to worry about, etc... Frankly I should be living it up right now, enjoying this carefree time. So I have spent the past few minutes not only watching "Pretty Woman" on TBS but reminding myself of the brave and courageous things I have done in the past. Sometimes you just have to throw humility to the wind!
I acted in the 7th grade play (it was about baseball, I was one of 5 that had speaking parts!)
I am proud to say I have never done recreational drugs even though they have been offered
I went to college and lived in the dorms and made friends even though it was very scary!
I spent three years working in a dying ministry to show college students there was more to college than being drunk.
I went to the Dr. and got put on depression and anxiety medication because I knew something was wrong. I was a sophomore in college.
I spent a summer working in Appalachia, the toughest thing I have ever done by far.
I told my parents that I got a speeding ticket with a mandatory court appearance (lots of tears).
I have said goodbye to two grandfathers and many other wonderful people I have known in my life and learned that it is brave to love because in loving you lose part of yourself but you get much more back.
I started a small business.
I survived three hospital stays for migraines and two surgeries.
I moved to the middle of nowhere for a job I had wanted my entire life.
I spent 3 years teaching children, many of whom did not speak English well, were involved in gang activity, drug use and came from low income situations.
I have traveled to Mexico countless times without being kidnapped or detained bt border control
I quit my job and gave notice on my apartment to follow a new adventure and dream to the big city.
When you add it to the list it doesn't seem so scary because all those other things worked out alright!
I acted in the 7th grade play (it was about baseball, I was one of 5 that had speaking parts!)
I am proud to say I have never done recreational drugs even though they have been offered
I went to college and lived in the dorms and made friends even though it was very scary!
I spent three years working in a dying ministry to show college students there was more to college than being drunk.
I went to the Dr. and got put on depression and anxiety medication because I knew something was wrong. I was a sophomore in college.
I spent a summer working in Appalachia, the toughest thing I have ever done by far.
I told my parents that I got a speeding ticket with a mandatory court appearance (lots of tears).
I have said goodbye to two grandfathers and many other wonderful people I have known in my life and learned that it is brave to love because in loving you lose part of yourself but you get much more back.
I started a small business.
I survived three hospital stays for migraines and two surgeries.
I moved to the middle of nowhere for a job I had wanted my entire life.
I spent 3 years teaching children, many of whom did not speak English well, were involved in gang activity, drug use and came from low income situations.
I have traveled to Mexico countless times without being kidnapped or detained bt border control
I quit my job and gave notice on my apartment to follow a new adventure and dream to the big city.
When you add it to the list it doesn't seem so scary because all those other things worked out alright!
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Acts 20:24
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
I was reading this morning, thankful to have some quiet time to be able to reflect and think about what I was reading. I am so glad that I haven't given up on the Bible on one year project, it would have been so easy. There have been times that I have been a month behind but I have caught up and now I am so into it, even though I have read much of it before in pieces. Reading it in order like this is very much reading it for the first time and really seeing the sequence of events. The verse above from Acts is not a well known verse to me. I have studied acts before, I do believe I even led a study on it in college. But this morning in the quietness of house I was guided to this passage.
I have been really struggling with the upcoming move to Los Angeles. Not having a job yet terrifies me beyond any measure that I have ever known before. It constantly sits in the forefront of my brain, no matter what is going on around me. I have read two novels (not short ones) in the span of about 4 days trying to take my mind off of it, I have taken care of other matters. Sarah and I have our new insurance, we are very close to having new cell phones with GPS (so we won't get lost!) and I have been running errands for my mom, visiting her at work, helping out in the garden, around the house, cooking. But I still find myself checking my phone, e-mail, list servs, 100 times a day.
Everyone around me is so encouraging. They reassure me, they listen to me reason it through, they let me cry or yell. I have a great support system but ultimately it comes down to me and my belief in myself.
Not so long ago I had a strong unwavering faith in God and his son Jesus Christ. I could preach the gospel on a moments notice, lead small groups, I was a disciple of my God, proud to be a child studying His word and active in the mission to bring others closer to Him. That changed somewhere along the way. I strayed from the path, got further form the light. The books collected dust, the Sunday mornings became harder to do and I became lukewarm. The very person I had railed against many times.
Today when I read Acts 20:24 I realized that Paul was one of the most incredible people. He wasn't Jesus, he was a prophet. He was an ordinary man who had to get up everyday and make the conscious decision to do God's work, complete the task laid out for him.
My goal is small, not to be like Jesus, I need to work up to that. I want to be like Paul, a simple task. It only takes up on verse in the entire Bible. Really only half a verse - to testify to the gospel of God's grace. I can do that. I think it will help take my mind off the other stuff and help me focus on what I need to focus on. I learned a long time ago that if I focus on God the rest will come. How easy that is to forget in the midst of our busy lives.
Dear God your grace is the greatest gift because you give it everyday without question and without asking. Please remind my heart to live like Paul and celebrate your grace in the world. Amen.
I have been really struggling with the upcoming move to Los Angeles. Not having a job yet terrifies me beyond any measure that I have ever known before. It constantly sits in the forefront of my brain, no matter what is going on around me. I have read two novels (not short ones) in the span of about 4 days trying to take my mind off of it, I have taken care of other matters. Sarah and I have our new insurance, we are very close to having new cell phones with GPS (so we won't get lost!) and I have been running errands for my mom, visiting her at work, helping out in the garden, around the house, cooking. But I still find myself checking my phone, e-mail, list servs, 100 times a day.
Everyone around me is so encouraging. They reassure me, they listen to me reason it through, they let me cry or yell. I have a great support system but ultimately it comes down to me and my belief in myself.
Not so long ago I had a strong unwavering faith in God and his son Jesus Christ. I could preach the gospel on a moments notice, lead small groups, I was a disciple of my God, proud to be a child studying His word and active in the mission to bring others closer to Him. That changed somewhere along the way. I strayed from the path, got further form the light. The books collected dust, the Sunday mornings became harder to do and I became lukewarm. The very person I had railed against many times.
Today when I read Acts 20:24 I realized that Paul was one of the most incredible people. He wasn't Jesus, he was a prophet. He was an ordinary man who had to get up everyday and make the conscious decision to do God's work, complete the task laid out for him.
My goal is small, not to be like Jesus, I need to work up to that. I want to be like Paul, a simple task. It only takes up on verse in the entire Bible. Really only half a verse - to testify to the gospel of God's grace. I can do that. I think it will help take my mind off the other stuff and help me focus on what I need to focus on. I learned a long time ago that if I focus on God the rest will come. How easy that is to forget in the midst of our busy lives.
Dear God your grace is the greatest gift because you give it everyday without question and without asking. Please remind my heart to live like Paul and celebrate your grace in the world. Amen.
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