I'm tired. I'm finally tired. I have been on a roller coaster since I have been at the pain clinic. First I went through the withdrawal when I went off the medication and the the obsessive compulsiveness came back, slowly at first and then I got this talking thing. I used to get teased by my family that I was born talking. It went away with the medication, I was able to censor myself but now it's back, It's harder to control the talking. And the cleaning and the other things.
Then the hyper activity came. I starting getting up early every morning, very unusual for me. I couldn't sit still and watch T.V. without something to occupy my hands. I was multitasking my multitasking, etc...
Then today I came home from work and I realized I was tired. Not hyper, just tired. I still did lots of stuff because I haven't gotten into the new pharmacologist yet so I am still dealing with the obsessive compulsive stuff but I am feeling positive on the progress I have made so far.
So I am going to bed, earlier than I have in several weeks and hopefully will sleep all night until my alarm goes off. I am very much ready to have things go back to my form of "normal".
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Hell No We Won't Go!
Today was my first official union event! I went to school with my new union t-shirt and put a sign around my neck like a giant billboard. I spent 30 minutes handing fliers to parents who were dropping their children off for school. It was my first day in front of the school for drop off and let me just say - more kids get dropped off by parents and carpools than ride the bus by quite a ratio. I ran out of fliers. It was pretty cool to be out there actually doing something, trying to get something done for the teachers. For me. I need better health care and I can't afford to have the district cut the benefits now. If anything they need to increase our benefits to keep up with rising health care costs.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Peer Praise
Let's face - we all like to be liked. Well I guess I can't speak for everyone in the world but I like to be liked. In fact I have this fear of being unliked. I know, I have a fear of many things beyond my control, yada yada, yada. It is a bit ironic that I occasionally dislike people and don't seem to have a problem with that ;-) (you can all keep your sarcastic quips to yourselves).
Anyway - the point of that is to tell you that I received two extremely nice compliments last week that had a huge impact on me and the way I view the other teachers at my school. The literacy coach at my school told me that I was doing an awesome job and I should stop worrying about making making mistakes. She said she was telling everyone about the awesome job I was doing with my classes. As good as this made me feel, it also gave me some insight into the way I was being treated by some tenured staff in my department who have been a little, shall we say cool. I have not been welcomed into that group. But I am working on it.
That other fabulous compliment came very unexpectedly. I was starting class when a math teacher came in, escorting a student. If we have the time sometimes we will do that instead of writing a pass to give the student a couple minutes of one on one time. He interrupted to tell my class ho lucky they were to have me because the teacher who had the room before me was a bore and didn't do anything fun like sing or do projects (OK, I only sang once and it was very brief). The kids clapped for me and he left.
At lunch I sought this teacher out and thanked hm for the compliment. He said that the kids he had last year come back and report about the teachers they have this year. Apparently I am among the favorites for seventh grade magnet. I told him the newness would wear off eventually :-)
For all of you with busy, stressful careers, you know the time it takes to point out improvements that a colleague can make or to ask a favor, let alone give them credit or a compliment. I truly appreciate the kindness I experienced last week. I am going to make it a priority to make more of those observations to my peers. I challenge you to as well. We all know what a smile can do, imagine what a kind word will do!
Anyway - the point of that is to tell you that I received two extremely nice compliments last week that had a huge impact on me and the way I view the other teachers at my school. The literacy coach at my school told me that I was doing an awesome job and I should stop worrying about making making mistakes. She said she was telling everyone about the awesome job I was doing with my classes. As good as this made me feel, it also gave me some insight into the way I was being treated by some tenured staff in my department who have been a little, shall we say cool. I have not been welcomed into that group. But I am working on it.
That other fabulous compliment came very unexpectedly. I was starting class when a math teacher came in, escorting a student. If we have the time sometimes we will do that instead of writing a pass to give the student a couple minutes of one on one time. He interrupted to tell my class ho lucky they were to have me because the teacher who had the room before me was a bore and didn't do anything fun like sing or do projects (OK, I only sang once and it was very brief). The kids clapped for me and he left.
At lunch I sought this teacher out and thanked hm for the compliment. He said that the kids he had last year come back and report about the teachers they have this year. Apparently I am among the favorites for seventh grade magnet. I told him the newness would wear off eventually :-)
For all of you with busy, stressful careers, you know the time it takes to point out improvements that a colleague can make or to ask a favor, let alone give them credit or a compliment. I truly appreciate the kindness I experienced last week. I am going to make it a priority to make more of those observations to my peers. I challenge you to as well. We all know what a smile can do, imagine what a kind word will do!
Little Politicos
And in no way am I speaking ill of short persons in political arenas. I am talking about my students who are, in there own way, involved in the political process. We are all very much in discussion about the upcoming election. Which candidate best represents are values and what propositions will take away our rights. But we also have to look at the bigger picture.
I am not one to speak out about politics, I don't have a soap box, mainly because I don't feel I have enough knowledge about the issues. However, i will make an exception this time and say this from my heart. Think about the future when you vote. I voted by mail on Saturday and I followed the union stance on many things but there were several propositions that I had to go with my heart on. If it doesn't feel right, do what you think is right.
I say this because I spend the majority of my time with the future. Maybe it is cliche to say that but it is true. The children are our future and it is up to us to make sure there is a safe place for them to be.
The other day at lunch the group I had spent the time making campaign signs against proposition 8 and for Obama. I had nothing to do with this as I was on the phone at the time. I watched with sheer admiration at the thought they were putting into an election and into issues they cannot even vote on.
I beg you to do the same.
I am not one to speak out about politics, I don't have a soap box, mainly because I don't feel I have enough knowledge about the issues. However, i will make an exception this time and say this from my heart. Think about the future when you vote. I voted by mail on Saturday and I followed the union stance on many things but there were several propositions that I had to go with my heart on. If it doesn't feel right, do what you think is right.
I say this because I spend the majority of my time with the future. Maybe it is cliche to say that but it is true. The children are our future and it is up to us to make sure there is a safe place for them to be.
The other day at lunch the group I had spent the time making campaign signs against proposition 8 and for Obama. I had nothing to do with this as I was on the phone at the time. I watched with sheer admiration at the thought they were putting into an election and into issues they cannot even vote on.
I beg you to do the same.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Surprise!
I have yet to figure out how to wake Sarah up without scaring her. I feel so bad when it happens. Even when she asks me to wake her up at a certain time, I go in and I say her name softly, she thinks I am there to kill her (which is sooo not true!). Now, this is understandable, because when you are not used to someone being in your room and you are asleep it can be scary to have someone standing over you, I get that, totally(which is why I have a min baseball bat by my bad thank you dad!). I just wish she wasn't scared of me.
This morning I went in to tell her something and she was really startled. Granted it was 3:30 a.m. and not 6:45 like when I go in to say I am leaving for the day. Let me explain, I had been waking up on and off all night and couldn't figure it out then I realized I had forgotten to take my meds, long story, and went in to ask her advice. I do m=not make a habit of going around waking people up in the middle of the night!
Unfortunatley after that neither of us could go back to sleep. She is asleep now and I hope she sleeps in, I turned off the alarms as I am off to work. I feel really bad but I needed a friend and we always tell each other to wake the other up so I did :-) This too shall pass.
So if anyone has any tips on how to wake her up without scaring her I am sure she would appreciate it!
This morning I went in to tell her something and she was really startled. Granted it was 3:30 a.m. and not 6:45 like when I go in to say I am leaving for the day. Let me explain, I had been waking up on and off all night and couldn't figure it out then I realized I had forgotten to take my meds, long story, and went in to ask her advice. I do m=not make a habit of going around waking people up in the middle of the night!
Unfortunatley after that neither of us could go back to sleep. She is asleep now and I hope she sleeps in, I turned off the alarms as I am off to work. I feel really bad but I needed a friend and we always tell each other to wake the other up so I did :-) This too shall pass.
So if anyone has any tips on how to wake her up without scaring her I am sure she would appreciate it!
I'm Going to Disneyland!
No, it's not just a commercial or a dream folks, Sarah and I won 4 tickets to Disneyland last night! I love this town! (Not to mention Disneyland is within a very reasonable driving distance) Los Angeles Team Mentoring (http://www.latm.org/) is an organization that began after the 1992 riots to give something positive to do with their time and someone to do it with that was a positive influence. They had an informational meeting last night and I dragged Sarah along with me.
It was fun, I met some really nice people and learned that O can participate in the program right in my school. Also, we won the tickets which are good until next June so we can save them until my parents come and take them, we are very excited!!!!
It was fun, I met some really nice people and learned that O can participate in the program right in my school. Also, we won the tickets which are good until next June so we can save them until my parents come and take them, we are very excited!!!!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
La La Land
Living in Los Angeles really is like television. Not in the sense that I am the star by any means :-) but the world around me. I went to the mall the other night, a random Thursday night, and there was a fashion show. We had fashion shows at the malls when I grew up. They put a stage in the middle and people walked out and modeled fashion from the stores. But this was a SHOW.There was a DJ and dancers on the over sized stage (brought in and installed for the event) to entertain the waiting audience. The people attending the show appeared to me as if they should be in the show. If I hadn't been standing there watching the event take place I would have sworn it was a television show!
As one of my all time favorite movies says "Welcome to Hollywood, what's your dream?"
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Can you hear me now?
Today was going along swimmingly until the bell for 6th period rang and a student waltzed into my room chatting on his cell phone. This is a bit unbelievable for two reasons:
1. Cell phones are not to be turned on during school hours and 2. he was not hiding it or trying to to hide it, he was acting as if this was normal behavior.
I told him to hang up and give me the phone. he tried to tell me some sob story about how he was talking to his mother who was at the hospital because his aunt had just given birth. He added that he had seen Mr. Martinez (assistant principal) downstairs who had given permission for the phone call. While the story about the birth may be true it has n bearing on the cell phone use policy. I told home to go find Mr. Martinez and get a note verifying the permission. He then told me that Mr. Martinez was on his way off campus when he saw him and was long gone by now. I responded with "sit down".
About 15 minutes later I was helping some students with the assignment which was peer editing their first "big" paper of the year. I noticed some abnormal behavior across the room and while it is not unusual for me to have abnormal behavior in the class I do have to investigate. I headed across the room to the circle of bowed heads and hushed voices to find a student text messaging. Yep. Second offender in 15 minutes. I was a little angry.
My normal policy is to take the phone until the end of class and give a warning for the first timers but not today, I told them to take it up with the deans office. Unfortunately for them the first deans office employee I came across was Mr. Edelman "the mean dean" who is also a part time social studies teacher and knows these two students well.
I saw Mr. Martinez after school and mentioned the "permission" and his sudden exit from campus. We had a good laugh over it and there will be detention given for lying. My students learn quickly that lying is a big offense in Ms. Knapp's room. I guess I learned that quick from my best teacher too.
1. Cell phones are not to be turned on during school hours and 2. he was not hiding it or trying to to hide it, he was acting as if this was normal behavior.
I told him to hang up and give me the phone. he tried to tell me some sob story about how he was talking to his mother who was at the hospital because his aunt had just given birth. He added that he had seen Mr. Martinez (assistant principal) downstairs who had given permission for the phone call. While the story about the birth may be true it has n bearing on the cell phone use policy. I told home to go find Mr. Martinez and get a note verifying the permission. He then told me that Mr. Martinez was on his way off campus when he saw him and was long gone by now. I responded with "sit down".
About 15 minutes later I was helping some students with the assignment which was peer editing their first "big" paper of the year. I noticed some abnormal behavior across the room and while it is not unusual for me to have abnormal behavior in the class I do have to investigate. I headed across the room to the circle of bowed heads and hushed voices to find a student text messaging. Yep. Second offender in 15 minutes. I was a little angry.
My normal policy is to take the phone until the end of class and give a warning for the first timers but not today, I told them to take it up with the deans office. Unfortunately for them the first deans office employee I came across was Mr. Edelman "the mean dean" who is also a part time social studies teacher and knows these two students well.
I saw Mr. Martinez after school and mentioned the "permission" and his sudden exit from campus. We had a good laugh over it and there will be detention given for lying. My students learn quickly that lying is a big offense in Ms. Knapp's room. I guess I learned that quick from my best teacher too.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sitcom Worthy
Seriously, it only happens on T.V. - nobody ever actually puts something in a mixer and has it spray all over their kitchen right? Wrong. It happened to me. I wish I had taken pictures, you have to believe what a huge mess it was.
I was making frosting for Sarah's birthday cake on Saturday morning. All the ingredients were in, the Crisco, margarine, powdered sugar, etc... all the stuff that makes it good and sticky. If you are not familiar with frosting it has to beat for a while to become firm and if you have an antique mixer like I do it takes a loooong while. So I thought I would be proactive and do some dishes while it was beating. Now, I was not neglecting the frosting, I was less than 2 foot away and I was glancing at it every 5 seconds or so. It was fine and then all of a sudden I felt like my pants were being pelted with something. Because they were. Frosting.
I quickly shut it off, yelled shit and stood there, looking around at what appeared to a snow covered kitchen. Very gingerbread house like. Really, this only happens on T.V. or so I thought. Sarah came out quickly, hearing my expletive and promptly stepped in some. We started cleaning and had to wash everything. The rugs, the stove, the canisters, the clean dishes, dishes in the cupboard, the potatoes, everything. The frosting had managed to get on everything except the cake. Not one dollop had landed on either layer of the cake. I mean seriously!
So we cleaned and used every rag and towel, then I had to wash my clothes which ended up coming out stained because of the oil in the Crisco - another alumni sweatshirt down the drain :-( then I had to mop the floor which I had already done and shower because yep- the frosting was in my hair :-)
Looking back on it it was incredibly funny and I didn't cry so it couldn't have been that bad right! We even ended up with enough to frost the cake even if it was a little thinner than usual.
Let's just say that if anyone wants to know what I am asking Santa for it is money to buy a new mixer, mine has warn out it's welcome. I need a splatter shield pronto!
I was making frosting for Sarah's birthday cake on Saturday morning. All the ingredients were in, the Crisco, margarine, powdered sugar, etc... all the stuff that makes it good and sticky. If you are not familiar with frosting it has to beat for a while to become firm and if you have an antique mixer like I do it takes a loooong while. So I thought I would be proactive and do some dishes while it was beating. Now, I was not neglecting the frosting, I was less than 2 foot away and I was glancing at it every 5 seconds or so. It was fine and then all of a sudden I felt like my pants were being pelted with something. Because they were. Frosting.
I quickly shut it off, yelled shit and stood there, looking around at what appeared to a snow covered kitchen. Very gingerbread house like. Really, this only happens on T.V. or so I thought. Sarah came out quickly, hearing my expletive and promptly stepped in some. We started cleaning and had to wash everything. The rugs, the stove, the canisters, the clean dishes, dishes in the cupboard, the potatoes, everything. The frosting had managed to get on everything except the cake. Not one dollop had landed on either layer of the cake. I mean seriously!
So we cleaned and used every rag and towel, then I had to wash my clothes which ended up coming out stained because of the oil in the Crisco - another alumni sweatshirt down the drain :-( then I had to mop the floor which I had already done and shower because yep- the frosting was in my hair :-)
Looking back on it it was incredibly funny and I didn't cry so it couldn't have been that bad right! We even ended up with enough to frost the cake even if it was a little thinner than usual.
Let's just say that if anyone wants to know what I am asking Santa for it is money to buy a new mixer, mine has warn out it's welcome. I need a splatter shield pronto!
The Honeymoon is Over
Every teacher knows that there is a honeymoon period at the beginning of the school year and when it's over the children start to show their true colors, their "unique" habits and "fun" character traits!
My honeymoon period is officially over. It ended last week when a child stole some Expo markers and she and two of her friends ditched class and vandalized the girls bathroom. All three girls are good kids and made a bad decision, this will pass and hopefully they will make better choices in the future.
I thought that was the end of it until I went got to school on Friday to discover that a green, glass paperweight had been stolen off my desk. I had a pretty good hunch who had taken it but I didn't want to accuse anyone. I want so badly to believe that this school is different from my previous school and bad things don't happen (yes, it is a fairytale!).
When I let the kids in at 7:15 (45 minutes before school) there was a big group, about 18. Mostly they were working on science projects due that day. Some were studying for the quiz in my class that was also that day. I got a book order turned and put it in my drawer, walked away from my desk to help a student for about 3 minutes, went back to my desk and got the order out to put in my purse. Yep, the money was gone.
One student had conspicuously disappeared and I knew right away what was going on. I was so angry but I had no proof. I spent a few minutes in each class letting the students know how disappointed I was that I had extended the trust to them of letting them be in the room outside of class time and to have that trust violated would have consequences starting with a new closed door policy.
In essence this really punishes me because I lose that time with the students to have them around and help them with their homework, let them check out books, talk to them, listen to them, just having them their being noisy is a comfort to me during the day.
Two students came forward as witnesses to seeing the student who stole the paper weight (a gift from a friend). Which meant now I had solid proof to go to administration. It is being dealt with and the student is facing being sent to his host school as this is not the first theft at school and also he has been arrested for shoplifting.
While I feel bad, I also have had to remember that I am a magnet teacher now and I have to have extremely high expectations of my students in and out of class. I have to focus on pushing them not bringing them up. They have to be able to cut it. The support I received from my superiors was great and I have not had to deal with the issue at all after I turned it over. What a relief it is to have a chain of command that works the way it is intended.
My honeymoon period is officially over. It ended last week when a child stole some Expo markers and she and two of her friends ditched class and vandalized the girls bathroom. All three girls are good kids and made a bad decision, this will pass and hopefully they will make better choices in the future.
I thought that was the end of it until I went got to school on Friday to discover that a green, glass paperweight had been stolen off my desk. I had a pretty good hunch who had taken it but I didn't want to accuse anyone. I want so badly to believe that this school is different from my previous school and bad things don't happen (yes, it is a fairytale!).
When I let the kids in at 7:15 (45 minutes before school) there was a big group, about 18. Mostly they were working on science projects due that day. Some were studying for the quiz in my class that was also that day. I got a book order turned and put it in my drawer, walked away from my desk to help a student for about 3 minutes, went back to my desk and got the order out to put in my purse. Yep, the money was gone.
One student had conspicuously disappeared and I knew right away what was going on. I was so angry but I had no proof. I spent a few minutes in each class letting the students know how disappointed I was that I had extended the trust to them of letting them be in the room outside of class time and to have that trust violated would have consequences starting with a new closed door policy.
In essence this really punishes me because I lose that time with the students to have them around and help them with their homework, let them check out books, talk to them, listen to them, just having them their being noisy is a comfort to me during the day.
Two students came forward as witnesses to seeing the student who stole the paper weight (a gift from a friend). Which meant now I had solid proof to go to administration. It is being dealt with and the student is facing being sent to his host school as this is not the first theft at school and also he has been arrested for shoplifting.
While I feel bad, I also have had to remember that I am a magnet teacher now and I have to have extremely high expectations of my students in and out of class. I have to focus on pushing them not bringing them up. They have to be able to cut it. The support I received from my superiors was great and I have not had to deal with the issue at all after I turned it over. What a relief it is to have a chain of command that works the way it is intended.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Back to School
I have been talking my way around going back to school for a while. I was accepted into Western's graduate program but did not go when I ended up moving West. I took a class or two when I was in Yuma that counted as credit but never got into anything serious because I couldn't afford it. When I decided to make the move to LA with Sarah I figured that going back to school would be a good idea so I could keep busy while she was busy writing. Things didn't fall into place as fast as I had wanted them too so I wasn't able to apply for fall admission. Oops, oh well. I don't like school that much anyway!
Then the other day I heard this announcement at school to go see this presenter about making 15% more money. I thought I could at least go see how much work it entailed. I met a woman who runs a program through the district (the advantages of working for a big district) to get nationally certified.
This is something I have been particularly interested in especially after jumping through Arizona and California's hoops to get licensed. It is a huge process and very rigorous (their word). It takes anywhere from 1-3 years depending on how well you do and is quite expensive.
The program the district offers is half price and takes 6 months. It is the equivalent of a masters degree in the field of teaching and 45 states accept it automatically as a teaching license. So I could potentially move anywhere and not have to jump through hoops! It is a really good deal on paper. I was still a little skeptical so I signed up for the orientation tonight.
After 4 hours I was sold. It is going to be hard. 400 or so hours between now and March 15th but it is a good deal and I get to have a study group and a facilitator to help get me through the process.
So I paid a bunch of money tonight and will pay more tomorrow but I am ready to do this. So please pray for me and forgive me if I get a little busy in the coming months.
Then the other day I heard this announcement at school to go see this presenter about making 15% more money. I thought I could at least go see how much work it entailed. I met a woman who runs a program through the district (the advantages of working for a big district) to get nationally certified.
This is something I have been particularly interested in especially after jumping through Arizona and California's hoops to get licensed. It is a huge process and very rigorous (their word). It takes anywhere from 1-3 years depending on how well you do and is quite expensive.
The program the district offers is half price and takes 6 months. It is the equivalent of a masters degree in the field of teaching and 45 states accept it automatically as a teaching license. So I could potentially move anywhere and not have to jump through hoops! It is a really good deal on paper. I was still a little skeptical so I signed up for the orientation tonight.
After 4 hours I was sold. It is going to be hard. 400 or so hours between now and March 15th but it is a good deal and I get to have a study group and a facilitator to help get me through the process.
So I paid a bunch of money tonight and will pay more tomorrow but I am ready to do this. So please pray for me and forgive me if I get a little busy in the coming months.
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