It has recently been brought to my attention that I have been trying to catch up on some lost time. When I moved to LA and had some of my medicine changed around I have been feeling better than I have in years. That has lots of up sides and some down sides.
I started committing to a lot of activities and keeping very busy. To the point of being a bit compulsive. The Dr.s have assured me that this is the normal course of action I have to take in order to separate myself from the medication and find the reasonable person in between. I am not sure about all of this. It is a bit unsettling.
Some other obsessive habits have come out in the past weeks and adjusting has been difficult. But on the upside I we have a very clean house and I have a very organized classroom. As some of you know this is not always a good thing and there are bad behaviors and feelings that come with all this. I go back to the Dr. tomorrow for more injections in my shoulder so hopefully I will get some more insight into what kind of medication is an option for me.
It makes me wonder. Is this the real me, because it doesn't feel very good. Or is the medicated me the real me. Who am I supposed to be. It is a common issue with mood disorders. And since decision making is difficult in people with mood disorders is doubly difficult!
I will keep you posted on my progress!
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