Solidarity leads to Chaos

In a show of solidarity yesterday the union rep at my school hung a giant pink ribbon on my door with a copy of the pink slip I received to let all the parents know I was being laid off. We were having a spring open house and it was a protest of sorts. It worked, lots of parents expressed sympathy and told me how much they appreciated what I had done for their children. It was a little awkward for me but it was a nice gesture.

That was it. I thought. Then I left. Without taking the giant pink ribbon and letter off the door.

As I walked to my room this morning I was greeted by panicked faces, scared students and a wall of 7th graders who physically tried to stop me from getting to my classroom. It took me a minute to figure out was going on. The ribbon and letter were still there and they thought I didn't know. They were trying to stop me from seeing it. The gesture itself almost brought me to my knees.

I quickly explained to them that I knew it was there, why it was there, what it meant to me and to them and it was even pointed out to me that the letter was 5 paragraphs (other teachers laugh here).

I spent the next 20 minutes trying to calm the hysteria, most of them aren't buying the party line though, they know what's happening as many of them have parents working in the district.

I have been hearing a lot lately that it is a bad time to be an educator with all the cuts but frankly I think it's a bad time to be a student, education itself is suffering and I am not sure I can continue to be a part of it. These kids deserve so much better than what we as an institution offer them. Since I found out that I would be laid off I have been doing some serious thinking about my future. Is my future in teaching? I have spent a lifetime preparing for it, it is all I have ever wanted to do. But now as I consider packing up my entire classroom again, moving it all to a new room and unpacking it. The organization alone is overwhelming. Not to mention learning a new school's procedures spoken and unspoken, meeting a whole new staff, being the new kid on the block even though I'm not new to teaching. It is enough to make me consider looking into some other kind of work.

And then I think I think of the faces this morning, the way my students wanted to protect me from the bad news. The way they reacted. And I think who could walk away from this.