Chuck Norris

Today I finished reading a book with the kids and I realized that #1 I should never have them read a book I haven't read myself and #2 I am way to emotionally invested in the life's of fictional characters. We have been reading Scorpions, a book about a 7th grade boy whose brother goes to jail and is being made to take his spot as leader if the gang. The end is what Sarah would call "a good ending" but to me it was just sad and I wanted to hug the little boy and take him away so no one could hurt him anymore. So there are some more lessons learned and hopefully the kids will have forgotten all about it and not tell everyone that I teared up:-)

You're probably wondering why I titled this Chuck Norris. Well, it all begins several weeks ago when some of my more bright and well behaved students were giggling (yes giggling) and talking during class. I went over and confiscated some papers they were reading and moved on. Upon reading the papers I realized what was so funny. They were reading pages and pages of Chuck Norris jokes. Now, many of you know about my slight obsession with his television she Walker, Texas Ranger and the round house kicks that I perfected in the late 90's. So I found these jokes hysterical but I couldn't figure out why they thought they were so funny. These kids have no connection to Chuck Norris, no t.v shows, no recent movies, nothing. So I have decided that is must be the sheer magnetism of Chuck himself that attracts the kids. I will share some of the joke now and keep reading I will continue to sprinkle them in now and then to spice up the blog.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Seriously, I can't write anymore right now, seriously.