Finishing a Chapter

Tonight I closed a chapter of my life. I completed the scrapbook of the summer I spent working for mountain T.O.P. Now I know some of you are going to say, wow, it only took 4 years :-) and I know, it was a long time but scrapbooking takes time and you have to be in the right mood. Not to mention everything else I have done in those 4 years. But I just put the book together and it looks good if I do say so myself. It felt weird to go back and remember all of it. It seems like just yesterday. It really reminded me of how fast time goes.

Speaking of which, Sarah wants to know my favorite Bible verse and I have been putting her off because I knew it would be hard to pick one. So I had my Bible out tonight and decided to do it once and for all. I thought I would just flip through and pick one that was hilighted or underlined. HA. Half my Bible is underlined and hilighted. So the search continues. Which, coincidentally brings up reminders of the past and people I knew.

Tomorrow is the first golf tournament for my kids, we are all very excited and nervous but I will be proud of them no matter what because they are all great kids who try really hard. I remember (not so fondly) my first junior tournament. I came in second with a 90 something on 9 holes. It was a very long day. There were only three people in my age group and I beat Susie out! I still got a medal though. Here's hoping my kids do better than I did my first time out!

God is Good

I had a pretty crappy couple of weeks and then all of a sudden, bam! Good times ahead. Sarah got a job and gets to move here, I found a church I like, I have started the marathon training (12 miles this morning!) and my financial situation is starting to look up as well. I was a little stressed about paying for my plane ticket home this summer to drive back with Sarah and I didn't want to ask my parents because they have helped me out a lot this month already and then out of the blue my grandma calls today. We did the money dance, she asks if I need some and I say no and she finds a way to give me some anyway. She volunteered to pay for my ticket home, that is a huge relief and load off my mind. I am looking at flying out like the 17th of June so everybody better clear their calendars and I can't wait to see baby Audrey in person!

So here's a question (more for God but anyone can answer) - How does a father of four get killed by a drunk driver or a newly married husband with a baby on the way get killed in Iraq or a woman minding her own business get raped and killed randomly and a man who is high on meth decides to commit suicide and shoots himself like 15 times with a nail gun and go on to live a (relatively) healthy, normal life????????? Does that make any sense to anyone out there? Cause it doesn't to me but I guess that's why I am not God and I don't have to make those decisions.

Titles - How exciting

I figured out how to make titles all by myself, I am pretty impressed with myself and it makes the archives look so much more organized. I don't know how Sarah made hers colored but I will prevail!
Tomorrow is the last day of the AIMS test and I will be so glad when it is over, even if we have to start research projects. Today I was pacing around the room and the kids were starting to get jittery off my energy which was not good. I can only plan and sort papers and create stuff to organize for so many hours. We start testing at 9:00 and don't break for luck until after one with two four minute breaks in there somewhere. If and only IF I am lucky the computer teacher comes and relieves me so I can go to the bathroom at some point. Then to make it worse we have to have regular classes in the afternoon, which I for one think is silly. We should be on half days but no one asked me.

Sarah got officially hired by my (loud noise, I guess maybe I am a little more freaked out than I thought - okay, no big deal, just the neighbors) school to teach next year, the kids are going to be so confused to have two Ms. Knapp's in the building. Sarah actually brought up making up a new name for her so as to avoid the confusion. I am now holding a contest to see who can come up with the best name for her. Prize: TBA

Intruder or Mistaken Identity???

I had some excitement last night - I got to call the police for the first time in Yuma. I happened to glance outside last night around 10 and saw a man sitting in my lawn chair. I ignored him for a few minutes hoping he was maybe just a passerbyer. But after 10 minutes he was still there and being paranoid I didn't want to go out and ask him why he was there so I called the police. They came and asked him some questions, did a breathlessly test and such. He was not drunk, but he was rambling a bit incoherently. Mostly what he kept saying was that she is home now so I have to be here. The police took him away, but not to jail because he technically hadn't done anything wrong except scare me a little (which, the policeman informed me, is not against the law - duh!). Today I talked with them and they took him home and no one was there but if he comes back I might have a case for a restraining order. I am not that worried. Everything is quiet tonight. I would like to think that he was just confused and thought he was at his house or something and everything is fine. The police talked with some of my neighbors and no one recognized him so they don't think he has been watching the house or anything.

Everyone at school freaked out though and wanted me to go get a gun and a dog after school. I calmly explained that I was not a big fan of dogs and if I was going to get a pet it would be a kitten which would not scare intruders so a pet was out. And the idea of giving me a loaded weapon is almost scarier than an intruder. I am not a police officer for a reason. I do however have a crow bar that has been relocated by my bed, after all, I am not stupid!

16 Miles

So I gotta tell you, I blogged before about blogging more and then no more! I really do suck at this but before you sign off and say you won't bother checking back I have a valid reason. I got a migraine on Thursday and have been off and on all weekend, mostly off. I will spare you the details since most of you have heard me talk about it on a regular basis and say that, once again, it was a most unpleasant experience.

So here's a fun story that you won't believe (but it is true!) I went on a 16 mile bike ride on Saturday morning. I know! It shocked me too. This girl I work with is training for a marathon in June and she asked if I would keep pace for her, it helps to have someone there I guess and not many people around here think going out for a 20 mile run is a form of fun. So I said I would go if I could bike.

So I went and I thought I would be dead and in much pain afterward but the only thing that has happened is that my butt was really sore from the teeny seat on those things, I mean seriously, who do they make those for. And I threw up at the Olive Garden from drinking too much water. So I am going again this Saturday because it really was fun and wasn't that hard at all so anyone out there having trouble getting on the exercise bandwagon try biking, just make sure you get a padded seat.

Now I have a complaint. It wouldn't be a blog without one, I know you were waiting for it. Stop asking stupid questions. Seriously. I am getting so sick of it. For instance, yesterday I called the apartment complex office to inform them that my air conditioning was not working and they needed to fix it. This woman's response was "can you tell me what it's doing?".... I said and I quote "It's not blowing cold air" and she was like oh and I was thinking I really hope your not the maintence person.

Then I got home and was trying to deal with this credit problem I have been having. Without going into a whole horrible story I will tell you that the credit card company changed my due date without notifying me (which is a new law that they can change it to 21 days) and said my account was past due. So long story short my parents decided to pay said credit card off and get them off my back but they couldn't. No one would take their money, not the store, not the internet, not the lady on the phone who informed me that the company was not set up to take checks over the phone and was there anything else she could help me with? (because she was so much help before) And then like 10 minutes later ( I am NOT joking) this man calls and says that he noticed my account was past due and could he take a check over the phone to take care of it right away. I said, I would love for you to take my check but you won't. So after several miniutes of him asking me to slow down and explain the situation to me he informed that my parents could very easily pay the card this way and they did and it was all over in a matter of seconds.

So, in conclusion, I ask you to stop asking stupid questions. Including, but not limited to, what is on your shouloder Ms. Knapp. A brthmark. Oh, are you sure it is not a tumor. Yes, I am sure it is not a tumor. And all of a sudden I know just how kindergarten cop felt all those years ago. Goodnight.

Church attempt # 3

I have discovered that I am as good at keeping a blog as I am at keeping a journal, which is not a greta comparison. However, I will try my best to keep up with it, I really like reading the comments.

So I went to church on Sunday. On Saturday I got a flier in the mail about this contemporary church that meeets in a school cafeteria. It advertised a welcoming, relaxed atmosphere with messages relevant to real life. I decided to give it a try since Faith had been on my mind so much lately. S oon Sunday morning I got up, dressed and drove to this school in the foothills (about 7 minutes from my house). I was greeted by several people and a woman that work with and her husband were also there. It was a great service with good music and friendly people.

I think I will go back for Easter, I enjoyed being a part of a worshipping community again and it reminded so much of Connexions (back in Kalamazoo) that is was wonderful to feel so at home in Yuma.

I should get back to the class, the troops are getting restless.

Vegas or Bust

I have been asked to tell you about my escapades in Las Vegas, unfortunatley there were not too many escapades to be had. I was pretty sick the whole time so there was no way I was going to drink and I lost about thirty bucks gambling which was ok I guess- I played for three days on it so I wasn't out much. We went to see the show Mystere - a Cirqu de Soleil show and it was fabulous.

A funny thing did happen though. We were walking down the strip and a SUV stopped at a light, a guy got out of it climbed on top, started singing and taking his clothes off. He got just about naked before the light changed and his friends hauled him back in the car. It was hysterical, all these people were taking pictures on camera phones so it will probably end up on the internet eventually.

One thing I did find odd about Vegas was the amount of free porn people try to give you. Can you imagine that being your job, standing on a street at night handing out pictures of naked girls advertising for hookers....I mean they're not even making the real money - because they are not the hookers they just hand out the papers. All I can say is I hope they don't run into people they know out there. More later.

Lost Sheep Seeking Guidance

It's almost midnight and I am restless for several reasons. One, I read a scary book about murder and that is not something I should do at night when I am sleeping in a house by myself. Two, I spent a large part of my day trying to fix my tax crisis and while it seems to be falling into place, I still have this pit in my stomach that something horrible is going to happen when I file. And that brings us to reason three....

Sarah asked me a question today, it was a gentle prodding on her part but what she doesn't kow is that it is the same question I have asking myself for a while now. She wanted to know if I would be attending church on Easter. I didn't go last year because I was in the hospital and I did miss it. To me, in a way, Easter is more of a spiritual holiday than Christmas. This is when someone loved me enough to die for me and painfully at that. I am reading this book called Velvet Jesus (or Elvis) I can't remember. But it is by Rob Bell and you should all read it. It asks all the questions that we all want to ask but are ashamed or afraid or too timid to ask ourselves. He doesn't give answers either which is comforting as well, he lays it out for you to come to your own conclusions.

Anyway, the reason this is all making me restless is that I have only been to church here in Yuma twice. I went to one of those mega churches where you just sort of blen in, they even have a book store in the foyer. It wasn't for me, I know that and I think I knew that before I went. Maybe that's why I chose it, to fail on purpose ate finding a church. Moving here was a big change and my job was hard and I was tired and I kept telling myself that I would go when things settled down. I think that is how it starts. You start going less and less, make up excuses and then BOOM! you no longer attend church and you can totally justify it. I feel like a huge hypocrite right now. I spent the better part of my life trying to convince people how important community is and how important Bible study is and how important it is to keep your relationship with Jesus alive and now I have pushed it to the back burner.

My faith is still here, I couldn't survive without it but I wonder if it is as strong as it could be. I haven't done a very good job of living my faith out these past few months and the terrifying part is that I don't feel convicted to change that. Is it possible that I have lost my way, that somehow I have stopped following God. I guess it boils down to that if I choose to go to a church for Easter Sunday am I a hypocrite. Do I then fall into the catorgory of the population that only attends church on major holidays? To me that speaks of apathy, which is something that I hate. I don't want to use the past as an excuse but I don't have a great track record with the organized church and it's politics. So what now? Do I go or not? Do I suck it up and do my Christian duty or do I follow my heart and hope that God is still leading me?

I thought getting these thoughts out would mollify me some butr I don't know, now I feel guilty for telling you what a heathen I have become :-) Well, off to bed, let me know what you think.

Flu Bug

Wow! It has been forever since I sat down to do this. Things have been crazy since I left you last. I got the flu and missed most of parent-teacher conferences much to my student's dismay I am sure :-). Then I went to Las Vegas which was fabulous except that I was sick the entire time - they give out all those free drinks and I couldn't bear to have any. Anyway - then my dad came, he just left today and we had a great week with my friends. We bowled, went to Mexico, San Diego, had a brief stay in prison (pictures to follow!). It was a whirlwind but I am so glad he was able to come out.

And also since I last wrote, my sister has decided to move down here and teach with me. I know, she's crazy too! I am house hunting this week, I was thinking about buying but then I looked into renting and that still seems cheaper for the time being but I am going to look tomorrow so I will keep you updated. Needless to say I am thrilled that she is coming down, it will be tough on my parents but now they have us in one place again. And this is a great place to come and visit.

I am going to go read a FUN book for a while before I fall asleep and not set my alarm!!! I have to clean my house tomorrow and I need someone to hold me accountable so of you are out there and can just leave me a note about how dirty my house is and how badly I need to clean I would appreciate it. Good night